Ian 'Beefy' Botham has tonight slammed sad England once again for their terrible performance in Austria.
A furious Botham told The Spoof:
"It makes me sick. Our lads couldn't even negotiate the nursery slopes for goodness sake, let alone the grand slalom. And as for the four-man bob? Purrlease!
It's all a far cry from when Boiks and I were setting the slopes alight with our snow craft. We gave those Nordics a good taste of their own medicine!"
Beefy blames England's poor performance on Prime Minister, Tony Blair, selling off all our school sports fields.
"It's down to Blair and his cronies. If he wasn't so keen to not offend anybody then we'd be back where we belong in the World of Sport.
Dickie Davies comments:
"A lot of people used to ask me why I didn't dye that silly bit of white hair that I had and I told them that it was my trademark"
And David Coleman said:
"Ahhh! Quite remarkable there. The Kenyan lad just opened his legs and showed his class! Extraordinary"
Jimmy Hill is appearing in "Bruce Forsyth a Life" at Her Majesty's in the Strand.
