After Almost Accidentally Winning Buffalo Bills Fire Offensive Coordinator

Funny story written by StubbornGorilla

Friday, 16 September 2016

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The only thing bigger than our coaches in Buffalo are the snow drifts.

After getting the Bills within striking distance of their rival the New York Jets in a 37-31 shootout, Rex Ryan took appropriate action, firing Offensive Coordinator Greg Roman.

"I didn't bring my loser brother in here to tank the defense, only to deal with out of control points scoring by our screwball offense," the often boisterous, some might say obnoxious, head coach of the Bills stated.

After dropping the defensive ranking from 4th to 19th in just one season, the Ryan brothers seemed to be successfully on their way to tanking the Bills defense, while installing a talented, yet ineffectual offense.

"Peppering in a few playmakers on offense was done to shut up our stupid f#@&^%! fans," Ryan said. "We never expected them to threaten our losing ways."

In what was described as a desperation move, Rex Ryan removed Greg Roman from his duties as offensive coordinator after marked improvement from week one to week two in the 2016 NFL season.

Many people questioned the move, suggesting that perhaps the defense, and more specifically his brother Blob, we mean Rob Ryan might be responsible for losing a game where the offense put up 31 points.

Once Ryan explained that they are trying to lose it all made a lot more sense.

"We Ryans like to shoot our mouths off, and winning is a poor excuse to do so. If The Bills expect me to do what I do best, they should expect some level of intentional mismanagement by the coaching staff to ensure that I have something to f&@%#! yell about."

Although, some Buffalo fans were upset by the comments, most of them just accepted the fact that having Ryans on your football team's coaching staff is just one more sucky thing about living in a city that needs excavator trucks to dig it out of 10 feet of snow every winter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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