Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

image for The Special One replaces The Senile One!
Dutch pretenders to the crown are never United!!

As if the insanity surrounding Dutchman, King Louis van Gaal, was not enough, he has now been sentenced into exile in his Portuguese sanitorium and is being replaced by a special Portuguese Man of War, who has a lethal sting. In fact, the story is even more Double Dutch than King Louis himself, which is nearly impossible!

Manchester United after successfully winning the FA Cup on Saturday immediately sacked King Louis before he could proudly present it to his best friends, the English Media, so he pissed in it instead and offered the hyenas a sip of finest Dutch yellow Advocaat, luckily they refused!

Meanwhile, The Special One, disguised as a Portuguese Man of War, completed a famous "Sting" by jumping into King Louis's four poster, and paparazzi confirmed this fact by posting photos of removal men removing empty removal boxes filled with hot air from The Special One's 16 million mansion in London; what a hoax!

King louis was then offered 5 million big uns and a private jet flight back to his Ponderosa in Portugal whilst Jose went in the opposite direction towards his latest "Theatre of Nightmares" in Manchester!

In the interim, ISIS have raped 500 kidnapped under-age maidens and removed over 200 Christian believers heads. Russia and Turkey have released a plethora of bombs on ISIS and Kurds heads, but that's footy for you; it's a question of life or death, and multi-millions of bucks thrown out of very high windows in the upper echelons of those who rule the game!

The ball keeps on rolling, heads keep on rolling (not just in Syria), and we the fans of our new Messiah will drop to our knees and pray that "The Special One" will resurrect our rotting club and relieve it of the Dutch and Scottish pest that has infected the place over the past 3 years!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
33 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more