Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 19 January 2014

image for Tiger Woods Talks About Golf, Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn, and Ex-Wife Elin Nordegren
Tiger recently revealed to Sporting Chance Magazine that he loves golf more than he loves Lindsey Vonn.

PEORIA, Illinois - Tiger Woods visited Peoria on a golf shoe promotion trip.

He was asked by a local reporter if the rumor that he was going to retire from golf at the end of this year was true.

Tiger smiled and replied "Yes and no."

He then explained that yes he plans on retiring from golf but not this year.

Woods said that he has to keep playing golf thanks to the fact that when he divorced his wife Elin Nordegren he had to pay her $110 million that he had earned.

He bitterly stated that Elin did nothing but lie around the house all day trying to make herself look pretty.

Tiger was then asked how things with girlfriend Lindsey Vonn were going. He rolled his eyes and said that she wants to get married and have a bunch of kids but his baby-making days are over.

Woods said that Lindsey told him the other day that she wants a pre-nup stating that if he divorces her after one month of marriage he will pay her $20 million.

The champion golfer made a face and said that the Alpine skiing bitch can kiss his golf putter because he ain't signing no freakin' pre-nuptial agreement.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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