The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

image for The New England Patriots Tell Rob Gronkowski To Tone Down His Partying Or He'll Be Traded
Rufus Reno says that Rob Gronkowki alias The Spoiled Brat makes $9 million a year.

FOXBORO, Massachcusetts - It is no secret that the New England Patriots organization has been quite embarrassed at the off-the-field antics of tight end Rob Gronkowski.

An inside source spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that Mr. Gronkowski is threading on very thin ice.

The player is the highest paid tight end in the history of the NFL and yet he acts like a bigger and taller version of Justin Bieber.

Many loyal Patriots fans are starting to question Gronkowski's worn out story about him being tired.

As one New England fan put it, "Well hell, I would be tired too if I stayed out partying till 3 and 4 in the morning."

Gronkowski just signed a six year contract that will pay him an amazing $9 million per year.

And yet the 24-year-old continues with his childish antics such as cavorting with porn stars, cheerleaders, and pole dancers.

One of his fellow teammates, who did not want his name mentioned, quipped that a lot of the NFL players are commenting that Rob is the male version of Lindsay Lohan.

Reports are that there are lots of strippers in the Boston area who perform dressed as number 87.

Word coming out of the Patriots front office is that they are fed up with his Paris Hilton like prima donna antics and if he does not tone down his partying ways, he may find himself on the trading block.

A Gillette Stadium beer vendor said that he overheard Gronkowski talking on his cell phone and he said that he is the greatest player in the history of the Patriots team.

SIDENOTE: Rob Gronkowski justifies his immature antics by saying that at least he isn't even in the same league as his former teammate Aaron Hernandez who is now wearing prison orange instead of Patriots red, white, and blue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more