The Jacksonville Jaguars Are Now 0-7

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 21 October 2013

image for The Jacksonville Jaguars Are Now 0-7
A typical dejected Jacksonville fan. (Photo provided by Coach Bradley)

JACKSONVILLE, Florida - The Jaguars of Jacksonville have just acquired the NFL's worst record of the 2013 season.

The team limped out of San Diego after the Chargers beat them 24-6 handing them their seventh straight loss.

Jacksonville Coach Gus Bradley was asked by Sporting Chance Magazine what he has to do to get his team motivated enough to win a game.

Coach Bradley shook his head and replied that if he knew the answer to that friggin question his boys would be 7-0, like the Kansas City Chiefs and not 0-7 like no one else.

Hercules Confetti with SCM spoke with several of the Jaguar players and it seems that about a dozen of them are blaming their poor performance on allergies.

Confetti noted that two players are blaming the moons of Jupiter not being aligned right and one defensive player said that he is having to deal with a bruised belly button which hurts when he runs.

SIDENOTE: Sporting Chance Magazine reports that the Jaguars ownership is so embarrassed at the team's horrible performance that they are thinking about giving the season ticket holders 70 percent of the cost of their tickets back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more