Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement

Funny story written by radiogagger

Friday, 6 September 2013

image for Transfer Window: Jimmy Greaves comes out of retirement
Greavesy puts his monocle on to read the small print in the contract

78 year old former England, Milan, West Ham, Chelsea and Tottenham player has announced he is coming out of retirement.

The east-ender, most famous for missing the 1966 world cup final, alcoholism problems and his tv programme with Ian St John, told fans gathered at a quiz night in the Lord Morpeth pub, Bethnal Green, he is prepared to brush the cobwebs off his diadora boots and grace the green green grass of english football stadiums one more time.

"Give me a million quid - I'll replace Bale, or Mata, or Rooney" said Greavesy, as he played with his handlebar grey white moustache.

Greaves scored on his debut for every major team he played for until his first retirement in 1971. Greaves made a partial comeback one before in 1975, playing for Chelmsford, Brentwood, Barnet and Woodford Town, before moving into television, appearing as a pundit on the hugely popular ITV football preview show 'Saint and Greavsie'.

Manchester United boss David Moyes refused to rule out Greaves as a target in the January transfer window, sending scouts down to Hackney marshes to see if Jimmy was playing as a ringer for a local pub team.

As Greaves is not contracted to any team currently, he would be available to join immediately, with Arsenal keen on a striker after failing to snatch Luiz Suarez from league leaders Liverpool.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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