Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

image for Kobe Bryant Throws His Laker Teammates Under The Bus
Kobe says his autographed basketball is worth double the autographed balls of all his Laker teammates combined.

LOS ANGELES - Well once again the prima donna personality of Kobe Bean Bryant has shown through as brightly as the sun's rays on a high noon July day in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

Bryant's Lakers, as they are referred to by Jack Nicholson, Andy Dick, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, have a won-loss record of 8-9, which mathematically speaking is below the .500 mark.

Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily stated what so many Laker fans and NBA fans have said and that is that with the tremendous talent that the Lakers possess they should be sitting at 17-0 or at least 16-1.

Metta World Peace has made it known that he has no idea what the heck is going wrong with the team. He was asked by a reporter if maybe the weather could have something to do with it.

The player formerly known as Ron Artest actually thought for a moment before replying, "No, I don't think that's it."

Bryant, who seems to think that he is the owner of the team, went on a tirade in the dressing room after the Lakers were beaten by the Orlando Magic who have a 7-10 record.

Number 24, ranted on and on about how he is the only player on the team who is earning the unbelievable amount of money he is paid, which is $28 million per year.

Kobe actually had the audacity to tell his teammates that no Laker player except for him (of course) is giving it 100 percent and he pointed out rather vividly that if they keep losing he is going to start kicking some ass in the team's locker room after the games.

When asked by Mr. Reno to comment on Kobe's comment Metta World Peace said that Little Bean better stop his trash talking and save it for the opposing teams before he finds himself with a basketball bounced off his loose, loudmouth lips.

MWP added that if The Colorado Kid, (Kobe) even lays a hand on him he will bite it like Mike Tyson bit Evan Holyfield's nose.

World Peace was told that Tyson actually bit off a piece of Holyfield's ear. He got a puzzled look on his face and remarked that he saw the video on The View and it was definitely Evander's nose.

Meanwhile Pau Gasol and Dwight Howard have both said that if the egotistical diva known as Kobe Bryant isn't happy with the team then perhaps he can stop his incessant whining and unprofessional complaining long enough to ask Lakers owner Jerry Buss to trade him.

SIDENOTE: Bryant is alleged to have told Zydeco Dupree with iRumors that before too long he will see to it that the Lakers team name is changed to the Los Angeles Kobes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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