Bell Tolls for Alfredo Aceves

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Our favorite moralist, Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine, pronounced that it was simple to know the difference between right and wrong.

Spoken a day after the biggest Red Sox trade in history (a rival to Babe Ruth's departure), Valentine's words applied to Alfredo Aceves, the closer who blew a lead twice in one game.

Details of the bell tolling in the Red Sox clubhouse indicate it tolls for thee, Alfredo.

An animus encounter between manager and pitcher are closed within the annals of Red Sox bad boy behavior, but suffice it to say: Aceves slammed the office door of his manager on the way out-and proceeded out of the ballpark.

It seems as if the closer closed his options with too much passion. He was suspended for three games for his detrimental behavior to team morale.

Under that statute the Sox ought to suspend owners, general manager, and coaching staff.

Not since Al Pacino kissed John Casale an unfond farewell in Godfather 2 have we seen Fredo sent packing. Of course, we have seen Bobby kiss Dustin, but this kiss-off may have a different consequence.

We suspect Alfredo just broke Bobby's heart and will be sent to the dreaded waiver wire, perhaps wrapped tightly around his neck.

Aceves had anger management problems with the Yankees a few years back that led to his dismissal, and it appears time has not improved Alfredo's humor.

Speculation centers on Andrew Bailey, the one-time proposed closer returning from the DL this week and taking over Aceves's job. In that case, Aceves may be more expendable than Josh Beckett.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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