Darnell McDonald: Red Sox Free Agent At Large

Written by Ossurworld

Monday, 2 July 2012

Darnell McDonald graced the Red Sox for a few years, looking hotter than a Chippendale dancer in the dugout. Alas, at the plate he looks like a man without a g-string.

Darnell may be free of the Red Sox just in time to do the sequel to the hit movie called Magic Mike. He has peep show appeal. He has been more than a hunk with the Sox and has some assets we have not yet seen.

Of course, with the release of the new movie Magic Mike, we may find Darnell on a new course for success. Forget being out in left field; he could be on center stage.

It seems with his looks and style, Darnell could easily join the ranks of other Magical Mikes at the local dance club.

We recall the old chestnut about male dancers called A Night in Heaven, and Darnell not only has the right moves, but he is also younger than Matthew McConaghey.

The Red Sox are now down one piece of eye candy, but Jacoby Ellsbury and Scott Podsednik will soon return from the hinterlands where disabled Sox have been on tour with the all-boy revues set up by Ben Cherington this season.

Pink hats have been waiting with bated breath for the return of the natives to see who is the cock of the walk.

Fans may not think of Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum of Magic Mike as potential Red Sox in revue, but the breed seems to be fairly close in style.

The Red Sox dream team was down one dancer after Josh Reddick was sent packing to the Other Coast. Nowadays the only team that gets less respect than the Red Sox are male strippers.

We recommend that instead of listening to "Sweet Caroline," the outfielders put on a dance revue during the seventh inning stretch. The run of sell-outs might continue for years.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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