Who's on First? Red Sox "Don't Know"

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 28 May 2012

Bobby Valentine has begun to play the old vaudeville routine of Abbot and Costello's baseball conundrum 'Who's on first?'

In this version Bobby plays all the roles and makes all the jokes.

Lately he has been telling the media who's in right and receiving some bizarre answers, like Podesdnik or Ross or Sweeney or Adrian Gonzalez!

If you don't know who's in right, center or left, you may be correct in asking, "Who's on First?"

Bobby will tell you, "Whoever is not playing third."

And, you simply never, never want to say to him: "who's at shortstop."

"No, Pedroia is always on second. His middle name is always."

If 'Don't Know' is on first, it's on off days when Gonzalez, Ortiz, and Youkilis are unavailable.

Worse yet, lately Kelly Shoppach has stormed into Valentine's office to ask who's catching?

Bobby always has an answer, "No, who's in the bullpen. What's His Name is catching."

The media recently asked if Dice-K is in the starting rotation.
Bobby told them, "No, Dice-K's in rehab, and Aceves may not be in the bullpen much longer. Up in the air is closing."

We suffer some confusion too over the ace of the pitching staff. To which, Valentine agreed. "It's a good question. If there is an aceā€¦Don't know if there is an ace."

We thought Don't Know was on first, but then again Bobby also has someone in the outfield come in to pitch now and then.

"Someone in the Outfield likes to pitch, and his name is Darnell MacDonald. Now and then, he's a designated hitter."

"Isn't old McDonald down on the farm? Someone in the Outfield is on the disabled list."

We really want to ask Bobby, "Who's managing this team?"

But we already know the answer, "Nobody's running this team, and he's in the front office."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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