Looking Up "Josh Beckett" in the Dictionary

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Friday, 11 May 2012

Our trusty photo dictionary has become a great deal less helpful than last year's Wikipedia. Every time we lookup a difficult word, we see the picture of a Boston sports star.

Just last night, we were compelled to take a look again at some of our more complex and hard-to-understand concepts, like "dirty player," and Kevin Garnett's photo was not there!

We felt there must be a different edition circulating in Atlanta.

Of course, we took comfort in the fact that when we thumbed up to the picture dictionary letter 'M,' there still was a photo we recognized under the word "mercurial."

Yup, Rajon Rondo jumped out at us in 3-D.

Then our ever-reliable Pictionary started going slightly "bonkers."
A picture of the Red Sox front office appeared.

We hurried over to "obtuse," and yes, there he was: Josh Beckett.

Our reliable adjectives seemed to be stuck in a "horror story," because there again was Josh Beckett's picture.

We hurried over to "arrogant," as fast as our sore thumbs could take us. You guessed it: a thumbnail picture of Josh Beckett.

"Overpaid," and then to "unrepentant," and next to the other end of the online wordsmith to "smarmy," and there he was with all his "media target" attitude: Josh Beckett.

Under "abuser of chicken wings and beer," Beckett's greasy fingers were displayed dipping into the bucket. "Duffer" showed us a golf-club swinging Beckett.

It seemed there wasn't a negative word or a term with a bad connotation that did not feature the picture of Josh Beckett.

In desperation, we turned to our last chance, to our favorite word: "snide," and to our great relief, we found our own photograph still there in glorious Technicolor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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