Something is Rotten and Amiss in Red Sox Nation

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Sometimes it takes being hit on the head with a 2x4 or a brick thrown by one of the Three Stooges. We begin to see more motives for a murder than Agatha Christie ever planned.

Bobby Valentine has caught our attention at last.

If Bobby were a pit bull dog, the community would be calling the Animal Control officer. If Bobby were a junkyard dog, there would be a sign warning players not to intrude.

For a while, we just laughed off any critiques of his style and personality as overblown hype. We also thought Curt Schilling was being an alarmist in the mode of Paul Revere when the wolves were not at the door.

Alas, we now fear Schilling's ride after seeing the two lanterns in the steeple indicates that he saw the yellow of Bobby Valentine's eyes.

It's not the ex-pitcher crying, "Wolf!" It's the guy with the blood sock crying out loud, trying to let us know there is a fox in the henhouse.

Valentine chose to leave Kevin Youkilis out of the lineup the day after questioning Youk's emotional heart for the game.

Those are fighting words in most cultures. It's the sort of comment that had Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton marching off ten paces-and firing at the New Republic.

We wonder, like Youk, at what it all means. The last time we saw anyone with this kind of wonder, it was Grace Kelly looking out the rear window at the clues of a possible murder in the apartment across the courtyard.

If this were a suspense drama by Alfred Hitchock with Hercule Poirot using his little grey cells, we'd be looking to see who tampers with Bobby V's sunflower seeds. He'd be the alleged 'innocent victim' in the next scene.

This time around it is merely character assassination, most foul.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more