"What a Dump!" Fenway Park Strikes Back

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 26 May 2012

Bobby Valentine oversaw his team begin to brawl in the ninth inning after Luke Scott, sometime Fenway Park detractor, was hit by a pitch.

Scott despises Fenway Park and gave an interview to that effect, which has ranked him at the top of the enemies list all season among the most arrogant of Boston Red Sox fans.

At his postgame interview, Bobby Valentine insisted that Fenway's angry "ghost" directed the pitch at Mr. Scott.

On the 100th anniversary of glorious old Fenway, the Grand Dame of all Parks is not about to tolerate nonsense from some nobody on the upstart Tampa Bay Rays.

Not since the Curse of the Bambino and A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens has anyone alluded to the feisty phantom of Fenway as did manager Valentine.

Like some French opera bouffe, the Fenway spirit may remain as elusive and masked as the Scarlet Sox Pimpernel. You may seek him here, or you may seek him there, but that damned Red Sox Pimpernel is liable to be anywhere.

Poetic justice may not reside in too many places in 21st century baseball, but one might consider that Fenway Park could be that home.

According to Yankee fans that lost their original home a few years ago to a pretender to the House Ruth Built, Fenway Park now has become the last resort of scoundrels.

Bette Davis in one of her classic movies walked into the modest living room of a modest cottage that modest Joseph Cotton had set her up in, and she remarked caustically: "What a dump!"

It is John Waters's favorite movie and favorite line from a movie.

Though everyone thinks that movie was Chicago, it was in fact Boston. Scott did his best imitation of Bette earlier this year, calling Fenway a dump. He will never escape the retribution of the Ghost of Fenway Past.

Luke Scott has now gone beyond the forest and taken on the personality of Bette Davis. Now the Piper must be paid.

The Ghost of Fenway seeks revenge. And Bostonian Bette Davis's ghost is fairly ripped at him too.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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