Three Dog Night at Fenway Park

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

"Of the three dogs, one was the game itself." - We are used to seeing fans bundled up against the raw wind and cold temperatures of spring in frigid Boston.

Fenway Park in the evening with sea breeze is no friend of fans who have for 100 years braved the chill in a variety of winter gear.

Tonight, however, became a first.

After years of watching players in layered jerseys, the Sox players actually were more bundled up than the fans. And, we couldn't see the long underwear, thermal socks, and jock warmers.

For all we know, both teams had rubbed down their bodies with whale blubber.

Chippendale model Josh Reddick returned to Fenway Park with the A's, but you would not have recognized him.

In fact, both teams (Oakland and Boston) seemed to be wearing a kind of hood that used to be featured in the wardrobe of the Sheriff of Nottingham's bowmen.

No, not chainmail hoods, but nylon skullcaps that covered chin and mouth. We were not sure if we were watching terrorists, bank robbers, or refugees avoiding the swine flu with protective masks.

The game looked surreal.

Hard as we examined the fans in the stands, we saw not one fan wearing as much gear against the cold.

Perhaps players are not as hardy as they used to be, in short sleeves against the wind chill. Perhaps the world has changed, and owners prefer to dress players in ski suits to protect the multi-million dollar babies from coming down with a bad case of sniffles or an earache.

We certainly understand why today's owners would become mother hens in protecting their high salaried and pampered stars.

Nonetheless, we were left with a cold void in our hearts. The Boys of Summer were not exactly playing out in a sunny cornfield with drizzle, fog, winds, and temperatures better suited to a fine game of playoff hockey than a pitchers' duel.

Perhaps spring training in Florida ended too soon, though the heat wave of March seems to have been the high point of summer.

Bring on the days of October and the World Series because we certainly feel like playoff season has arrived.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more