Written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

With the usual crack your knuckles staff of medical and training people, the Red Sox have ended the Grapefruit League play with a pie a la mode.

Yes, the Sox pitchers have stuck in a thumb and pulled out an epidemic of thumb injuries.

Not since Siskel and Ebert have we seen quite so many thumbs down.

Saviors of the staff, Josh Beckett and reliever Andrew Bailey, have been first on the scene to call an ambulance and EMTs from the bullpen. It's already two thumbs down and the season hasn't even started!

Sounds like too many Tweets by two twits.

Not one day after throwing a hissy-fit that he was not included in the starting rotation, Alfredo Aceves found himself thumbing through the starting rotation of other teams when manager Bobby Valentine told him that he may be drafted into service.

The Sox have already lost their closer replacement for Jonathan Papelbon to a curse from Thumblelina. Now their anchor in the starting rotation, twisted his thumb picking up a chicken wing-or so the legend goes.

In any respect, the best thumbnail doctors are in Texas-and Beckett has stuck out his sore thumb to hitchhike the entire trip, then he'll join the other Sox along the road.

Actually Tom Thumb was a miniature member of King Arthur's court. He was originally a small-minded kid who cheated at sports and was baked into pies and suffered other problems. He was eventually done in by a black widow spider's bite.

We are not sure why so many thumbs have gone down for the Boston Red Sox. Surely it cannot be their revamped training staff that are trained in the art of thumb wrestling and twiddling thumbs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Baseball, Red Sox

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