The NFL Suspends Four New Orleans Saints Players For Their Atrociously Pathetic Part In "BountyGate"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

image for The NFL Suspends Four New Orleans Saints Players For Their Atrociously Pathetic Part In "BountyGate"
The New Orleans Saints will have to pay the NFL a fine of $500,000. (Photo courtesy of Simon Cowell).

NEW YORK CITY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has finally issued his decision on the four New Orleans Saints players who were involved in the notoriously pitiful "Pay-To-Injure" scheme known as BountyGate.

Commissioner Goodell stated that he is not going to stand back and let anyone associated with the National Football League, whether they be owners, coaches, players, cheerleaders, hot dog vendors, or even the team mascots, get away with carrying on like a bunch of third-rate hoodlums, criminals, punks, and 17th century Barbarians.

Goodell explained that he has issued a $500,000 initial fine against the New Orleans organization but added that the figure could go up to as high as $10 million depending on several intangible factors including but not limited to player attitudes.

The four players or cheap shot artists, who were suspended were middle linebacker Jonathan "Bam-Bam" Vilma (one year), defensive lineman Anthony (Pow-Pow) Hargrove (8 games), defensive end Will "Wham-Wham" Smith (4 games), and linebacker Scott "Boom-Boom" Fujita (3 games).

Commissioner Goodell made it perfectly clear in no uncertain terms that he, the NFL, and the fans of professional football are not going to tolerate any players engaging in actions solely designed to injure opposing players by means of "Knockouts" and "Cart-Offs" as the unofficial Saints "Pay-To-Injure" scheme code book allegedly pointed out in black and white.

STORY FOOTNOTE: Commissioner Goodell noted that the rumors that four of the New Orleans Saints cheerleaders along with the team mascot Gumbo The Dog had also been involved in BountyGate could not be corroborated so he stated that the four cheerleaders and Gumbo The Dog will not receive any discipline whatsoever.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more