Manchester City fans were urged to keep the faith as the club homes in on its first championship in 44 years, by none other than former Oasis front man, Liam Gallagher.
"Yesterday didn't happen, man," an exhausted Liam said, as he went to put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea. "It was all just a bad dream. What really happened was that QPR won 3-1 at that dump in Trafford, and Super Mario stunned the Emirates with a hat trick in each half, and now there's only two points in it, and City will be crowned champions next week."
These must indeed be comforting words for every true football fan in Greater Manchester - where there are no Manchester United supporters whatsoever, and everybody is really cool.
For once, Noel Gallagher was in total agreement with his guitar smashing sibling.
"I agree with our Liam for once," he announced on the doorstep of his Kensington townhouse, where all his neighbours are United fans. "The trophy, like the city, is ours. Them rags are just delusional - they can't accept defeat. We stuffed 'em six-one at that pig sty down by the canal. They're not champions. We are. I think Oasis might even get back together for a one off celebration gig at the Shittyhead. Come on City! Champions! Where's our Liam? I need a hug. I think I'm gonna cry..."
Skoob Sports News attempted to contact City boss, Roberto Mancini, but we were told that he's currently unavailable as he's busy eating his scarf.
As promised.
More as we get it.
