Written by Skoob1999

Friday, 6 April 2012

image for Samantha Brick To Be Guest Of Honour At The Etihad Next Wednesday
"Oh No!" - A City Fan Pictured In The Good Old Days.

In his boldest psychological warfare tactic yet, Sir Alex Ferguson has announced through intermediaries that self promoting journalist, Samantha - I'm so beautiful it pains me - Brick, is to be 'Guest Of Honour' next Wednesday at The Etihad, when Manchester City face a resolute West Bromwich Albion.

The logic behind this unprecedented move appears to based on the idea that 50,000 Manchester City supporters will finally accept the brutal reality that they are just as delusional as the woman who is too sexy for Milan, Japan, and Afghanistan.


At least, according to Samantha Brick and Henry Mancini.

"Sir Alex reckons that a cold, hard dose of reality will do the Bertie Bitters a world of good," said one Carrington insider. "The stark reality is that City have about as much chance of winning the Premiership as Samantha Brick has of winning Miss World, or a popularity contest or some such nonsense. They're living on some sort of fantasy island. We're hoping that this gesture will provide the sorely needed kick up the arse the Bluenoses need, and if this doesn't make old Henry Mancini eat his scarf, then I'll eat me pork pie hat."

Skoob Sports News's Martin Shuttlecock was of the opinion that the psychological move was a tactical masterstroke by Sir Alex.

Shuttlecock has been saying for months that City would crash and burn, despite their sparkling early season form - during which many pundits insisted that City would win the title at a canter.

"The best football team in the world, and the most beautiful woman on the planet, united on the planet Dreamon," Shuttlecock mused. "It's a match made in heaven. I seem to recall the Brick woman saying on 'This Morning' that she was so sexy that men voluntarily paid her train fares in railway stations. I'd do that too - just to get her to fuck off out of my face. Same goes for City fans really. They're nearly as insufferable as the fucking Scousers. Looks like the lads in the stands will be singing 'Six-one and you won fuck all!' at the derby game after all. Don't say you weren't warned."

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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