Pitch Invasion Thug Banned

Funny story written by bigmeuprudeboy

Monday, 13 February 2012

image for Pitch Invasion Thug Banned
Thug threatened 'Keeper

A Thug who ran on to the Anfield pitch and threatened a goalkeeper in front of TV cameras has been banned from all football matches.

Cat Anfield Cat aged 3, ran on to the Anfield pitch during Liverpool's Premier League tie with Tottenham Hotspur on February 6th and appeared to confront Tottenham Hotspur goalkeeper Brad Friedel.

Cat, of Lothair Road, Liverpool pleaded guilty to going on to the pitch without permission at Liverpool Magistrates Court .

He had already been hit with a fine from Merseyside Police for crapping in a child's sandpit and will now be banned from every regulated football match in England and Wales for three years.

Cat will also have to surrender his passport before future Liverpool Europa League games to make sure he does not try to attend matches on foreign soil.

The club has been praised for taking swift action against the fan whose actions marred the otherwise dull 0-0 draw on the 6th February.

Roger Bleazard, prosecuting, told the court a football banning order was necessary as Cat was filmed by television cameras and could have encouraged viewers to do the same thing.

District Judge Graham Wilkinson told Cat that despite him approaching Friedel, he accepted he did not go on to the pitch to cause violence.

But he said: "The problem is, as we too often see in football, where one Cat goes others tend to follow.

"You may have sparked a pitch invasion, some of the Liverpool fans who also happen to be Cats may have gone on to the pitch and who knows what could have happened.

"There was no excuse for what you did. A message has to be sent out that the courts and the football clubs will deal robustly with these incidents."

The judge also praised Liverpool FC for taking action, adding: "Well done Liverpool FC.

"It's nice to see home clubs taking the appropriate action against one of their fans-even if it is a Cat."

Hockham Suthi, defending, said Cat did not intend to cause any trouble and made the decision in what he said "was a moment of madness" because "he had been eating far too much catnip".

He said that ,despite seemingly ignoring the magistrate in court and washing behind his ears, the slightly scruffy Cat was "very sorry for his actions".

Cat was also fined £100, with a £15 victim surcharge, £85 prosecution costs and was further banned from being able to chase a bit of string or a rolled up ball of silver foil for 6 months.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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