Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Rangers Sold on Ebay for £1! Craig Whyte Wash named as 'Private Seller'
Craig Whyte-Wash casts a lonely figure amongst the very seats he sold but weren't actually his to sell.

Glasgow: 'Private' sale of Rangers takes place on Ebay, Craig Whyte-Wash named. Private Seller has 'cloudy past' & negative Feedback from previous sales. Buyers Beware!. Unclear at the moment who the buyer is.

NTNON can exclusively reveal that the sale of Glasgow Rangers has taken place on Fleabay. The Private seller, registered to a business address in in the B.V.I (British Virgin Islands), was none other than 'Financial Houdini' and current 'World Bullshitting Champion' Craig Whyte-Wash, no relation, may we legally add, to the Craig Whyte currently under investigation by just about everyone who currently can't get their hands on his current location!!

Some fleabay punters were caught unaware of the sale for the Buy It Now price of £1. The £1 is a symbolic and poignant reminder of the Pound Whyte paid when 'he bought', [but not with his own money] the club last year. That deal was concluded on a website called, a domain owned and purchased by EBTsRus ltd, wholly under the wing of Sir David 'Murky' MurrayMinted.

But the crack NTNON team in Glasgow can exclusively reveal the listing as set out on Ebay. It's sickening description by Craig Whyte-Wash shows a couldn't care less attitude to Rangers, despite his supposed love for the club and his pathetic attempt at endearing himself to fans with his bravado statement that he 'doesn't do walking away'. Something else he thieved too, off Ally McCoist!

The listing read as follows;


"World Famous Football Club For Sale, nearly 140 years of history, footballing world records & trophies. Undergoing 'administrative restructuring'.
Unsuitable for future 'drop', too much glare of the headlights. Possible future TicketSeatUs clause buyback/refinance/bridging loan option available. Pls contact me privately to discuss.


"Used, in poor condition, currently lacking 'real' funds, but pls see 'TicketSeatUs' offer above, can deal 'off Fleabay' & 'off location'. Had it for 9 months now and it has served it's purpose. Been Rinsed enough, can't be repeated tho, too many viewers & nosey parkas. Relocation forces Cheap Sale."


By appointment only, via B.V.I, Monaco, London, Costa Rica, ??? catch me....... when you can!


Recent Feedback from other sellers who Mr Whyte-Wash had dealings with, tell of a sorry state of affairs.

"Slippery does not describe this man. Buyers Beware!! Owes us Millions." said ebay user HMRC-9MILL

"Sent the money, but never his in the first place to sell, complete wanker! Stay Away" said ebay user TicketsareNOToursanymore

And so the list went on, with feedback showing reports of previous failed shell companies, inadequate & poor Record keeping at Companies House, and a history of 'rinse, repeat, discard' at his feet.

Despite this, there was some feedback from other 'private' sellers which offered a different opinion though.

"Nice Deal. THE16 landed perfectly, sent the $$ 'OFF location' as you requested. did you get it thru? ;-)"
said ebay user UsmanovAFC16SHARES

Indeed the 'Seller' did actually donate 10% of the total to a 'worthy' charity - the BVI Ex Directors Settlement Fund, amazingly with an address at Bath Street Glasgow. YCNMIU! [We just did!]

And so as the night drew in over todays events, it was left to pet shop owner Raj Patel of Paisley to summarise the events so far.

"What a complete and utter thieving lying bastard this Whyte-Wash is"

.......more to follow as it breaks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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