The jury at Harry Redknapp's tax dodging trial have heard how the soccer boss writes like a two-year-old.
The Spurs manager denied stashing dosh away and told cops: "You talk to anybody at the club, I can't write or spell. I couldn't even fill a team sheet in.
"I have never read a bank statement and I've never wrote a letter in my life. I'm too dopey to fiddle tax and i leave all that clever stuff to the jewboys and my dog."
Redknapp backed up his claim by showing journalists his team sheet (reproduced below) for the Cup tie with Watford.
freedul
warkah
leadlee
kubul
assoo erotic
bail (yes pleese. lol)
scottee
arin lenon
mojrich
vanderfart
rushin geezer.
The court were told that Redknapp's dog has just entered the Sunday Times Rich List but that Harry is a complete retard and has never even heard of Monaco.
"If i nicked a few quid why would i deposit it in Switzerland when i could keep it in one of my offshore chins", twitched Harry.
Unfortunately Harry's dog will be unable to testify after it was found strangled with a black plastic bag over it's head in the Seven Sisters Road.
A Sky Sports source has confirmed rumours that the dog was suffering from depression and might have died of asphyxiation as a result of a sex game that went wrong.
