On the eve of the start of the game six of the 2011 World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Texas Rangers, to take place St. Louis, baseball officials were notified before the game that all the baseballs to be used during the game had been stolen.
Fortunately, for Major Baseball, its fans and more importantly beer advertisers, this did not happen.
A local 12 year old kid by the name of Donny Slider managed to save the day by having an illegal concession stand just outside of Bush Stadium where he was selling baseballs that look exactly like those thrown in the 2011 World Series.
Baseball commissioner, Roger Goodell, addressed a crowd of cranky reporters, forty two hours after the game was scheduled start by saying:
"Thank goodness we finally got this game off. Man, the baseballs we had for game six were it. We had no baseballs left seeing the all of us pretty much put our money on Texas to win in six.
"If it weren't for our security expert, Larry Do-Good, we never would have been able to pull this off".
"Hell, when it was known the baseballs were stolen and that Larry was responsible, he ran out of the stadium pulling his hair and screaming and ran into the parking lot where he got hit by a bus that flung him into the stand of Donny Slider, who happened to be selling baseballs that were exactly like the ones we have been using in the 2011 World Series".
"We are so thankful for Larry's sacrifice. Larry always knew that the game must go on".
When asked why it took 42 hours to solve the problem, Goodell responded:
We had to negotiate with Mr. Slider. Hell, the little fuck wanted 1000 dollars for each ball, but through frugal negations, we were able to wear him down after 41 hours to drop his price down to $5000 per ball".
"Eat that NBA owners!"
When asked how Mr. Slider had come across 2000 baseballs that were to be used in the 2011 World Series, Mr. Slider said:
"Foul balls, man! Foul balls! I catch a lot of foul balls, you know! I have a really big glove!"
On a side note, it was rumored that security surveillance showed someone looking exactly like Mr. Slider leaving the stadium with a whole sack full of something. What that something was is beyond anybody's guess.
But don't crucify someone who looks like the perpetrator, when you have to consider:
How many doubles does the president of the US have?
