Devil Worshippers Hit Out At Rangers FC's Sectarian Policy

Written by David Dempster

Friday, 23 September 2011


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Scottish Satanists have hit out at Rangers football and are said to be "livid" over their apparent sectarian policy over the signing of Satanists, Pagans and Occultists.

Representatives of The Scottish Satanist and Luciferian Group are said to be considering taking there case to The European Court of Human Rights over what they claim is a 138 year refusal to sign any player or member or backroom staff affiliated with the dark arts.

"Rangers Football Club really need to realise that this is no way for any organisation to function in the modern world" said High Priest and leader Graeme Mitchell self proclaimed "Black Pope" and servant of Beelzebub.

"Rangers have for too long persistently ignored any emerging talent, purely on the basis of their beliefs," he said whilst casting a spell and beheading a chicken to send current manager Ally Mcoists soul to eternal damnation in the lake of fire.

However Rangers have hit back.

"These remarks are totally unfounded" claimed assistant manager Kenny McDowell "in the past any demon worshippers we've looked at just haven't been good enough for the club"

He added "anyone who knows me will know that I don't have a sectarian bone in my body, my wife is a whore of Satan and my kids will be allowed to make there own choices as they get older, whether they want to follow the teachings of Christ or decide the son of god is a weak false prophet and will suffer in the eternal damnation of the fires of hell while Satan's minions laugh and mock him till the end of days is quite frankly up to them"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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