'Giant Rat' Caught And Killed By Granddad!
According to some observers the animal was a coypu, which are also known as river rats.
"Giant rat killed... I thought someone had shot Cameron!"
written by Inchcock, 28 April 2012
'Workmen Find World's Biggest Dinosaur Eggs
Construction crew in Russia's Chechnya may have uncovered an unusual find - a stash of giant dinosaur eggs!
Dinosaur Eggs photo
written by Inchcock, 28 April 2012
Today in 1559 Queen Elizabeth I passes the 'Act of Uniformity'
A momentous day which gave us the Book of Conmen Payers. The first ever list of bad cheque writers.
written by Frank Unreasoning, 28 April 2012
KFC to pay £5m to brain damaged girl poisoned by chicken meal
A KFC spokesman who plan to appeal the decision, said: 'We feel for Monika and family. But, we also have a responsibility to defend KFC's reputation as a provider of *safe, *high-quality food!
"*?"
written by Inchcock, 28 April 2012
George 'the Cat ' Galloway Wants to Change Name
It has been alleged that the Bradford North MP would like to change his name to Mohammed. He would like to make it very clear that this has nothing to do with his alleged conversion to Islam.
written by IN SEINE, 28 April 2012
Romanian government collapses
Rumours they bought the cabinet in IKEA has been denied.
written by radiogagger, 28 April 2012
Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 34
"Care of Your Gums"
by
Perry Don Tist
written by IN SEINE, 28 April 2012
Mobiles are acidic
New research has discovered that mobiles are more acidic than sulphuric acid, and should be capable of eating through an ear or a hand. They have been identified as being pH one.
written by IainB, 28 April 2012
The moon blamed for the Titanic sinking!
Texas State University physicist: "The lunar connection may explain how an unusually large number of icebergs got into the path of the Titanic".
"Oh, not human error then?"
written by Inchcock, 28 April 2012
Scientist uses physics to dodge traffic ticket in court
In a paper titled "The Proof of Innocence," Dmitri Krioukov appealed his failure-to-stop ticket, explaining that he may have appeared to an officer that he didn't stop but he actually did!
written by Inchcock, 28 April 2012
Secret Service tightens up rules: no more skanky whores
Being in the U.S. Secret Service has just become less fun: agents are to no longer drink excessively and, if they do, they best not be consorting with skanky whores. And if they do, they're to pay up.
written by Lyndon, 28 April 2012
So What Else is Happening
GSA employee caught with prostitute in Washington DC motel room while supposedly attending seminar on how to save the government money by competitive bidding!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Power Corrupts Absolutely
Michelle thinks President Obama is Jesus. World history is replete with demagogues who had the same thought!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Go East
California is a state where the Democrats have figured out how to shoot the state in the foot on a regular basis. Every time a new loony law is proposed, another crazy one can't be far behind!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Why Not?
The 2012 "Violence Against Women Act" was passed by the US Senate including additional protected categories. The US House will now take up the bill and is expected to add eunuchs to the list!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Sale Days
The Secret Service has announced a surplus prostitute sale, oops that should be surplus property sale of the desk items of the agents that have left the organization!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
No Frills Flying
Air Force One costs the US taxpayers $180,000 per hour to operate. GSA says that from now on when President Obama is out campaigning for reelection he must pay for pillows, meals and luggage!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Fairness in Action
Senate Democrats finally produce a budget containing an appropriation for MSNBC News. President Obama indicates that since the network works for the Democratic Party they should be paid!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Federal Government Saves Money
The Commission to Repeal Alcoholic Prohibition (CRAP) has finally been disbanded via an executive order from President Obama!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
No Cold Hands
A tailor has figured out how to keep the politicians out of your pockets, all his clothes have only pocket openings. Anyone sticking their hands in your pockets can be arrested for sexual assault!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Double Trouble
President Obama is considering Maryland's sitting Democratic governor as his new VP choice. It's a perfect match, as the governor spends money he doesn't have and then pleads for tax increases!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
What Me Work?
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) wants working Americans to have higher paying jobs so that she can tax more of their money for social welfare programs to support free-loaders!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Obama Administration Saves Money
TSA screeners check 1 billion US passengers that travel by air each year and grope about 50%. The TSA will begin to charge $20 per grope to meet their operating costs of $8 billion per year!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Give Them a Lump of Coal
Rabid environmentalists are upset that the US is exporting coal to China. US coal miners, shippers and dock workers are upset about potentially losing their jobs because of a bunch of fruitcakes!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Boom
Planned Parenthood plans to meet with National Right to Life in the same room. An observer considers this event akin to mixing matter and anti-matter!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Sign of the Times
A 250 pound man charges discrimination when he was refused a job as a foreign language translator. The prospective employer says the person didn't speak the required language!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Hello Nancy, Bet You Didn't Know
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) do you know that the Founding Fathers wrote the US Constitution to prevent the federal government from taking rights away from the people, not vice versa?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Use More Plastic
Zero population growth activists gave out 100,000 condoms to reduce overpopulation. A bystander said the condoms should have been given to the activists grandparents!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
It's Only Unemployed Taxpayers Money
GSA sent 14 government employees to check out the hotels on the Las Vegas NV strip for their regional conference. Several others refused because there was no hazardous duty pay to cover prostitutes!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Bipartisan Agreement
Democrats and Republicans on the Senate Appropriations Committee began action on 12 annual spending bills totaling more than $1.1 trillion by eliminating all GSA funding.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Democratic Party Fund Raising
DNC asks donors for a $3.00 raffle to see George Clooney nominate President Obama for a best supporting actor award in his role of pretending to be a US President for more than three years!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Low Bidder Needed
Government auditor disallows GSA employee charges for a prostitute, as the employee didn't get three bids for the purchased goods or service!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Reasonable Explanation
Ancient alien investigator claims ruins at Puma Punku in Bolivia are those of a prison. Extraterrestrials exiled animal rights activists, environmentalists and vegans from their home planet here!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Apt Problem Solving
House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA) wants to limit political speech of insider corporate traders. Someone shoved the 2400 page ObamaCare bill in her mouth!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Trend in Foreign Fast Food
McDonald's has introduced McBaguette in France. What next McGoulash in Hungry?
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Syrian Government Unperturbed
The UN Security Council approved increasing the number of cease-fire monitors in Syria to 300, each observer carrying a briefcase loaded with sanctions!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Only in Maryland
In the spring a young man's fancy turns to courting females. In the spring a young Chesapeake Bay environmentalist's fancy turns to counting female crabs.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Feminist Group Challenges Lego for Girls
They have little breasts and fancy hair and it disturbs us that this is the image Lego wants girls to see. Lego has replaced the little breasts with a hairy chest and the fancy hair with a buzz cut!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
Political Insight
Quote attributed to UK PM Margaret Thatcher "The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money to spend." Baroness Thatcher had foreseen US Democratic President Obama!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
What's in Your Mouth?
PRESIDENT OBAMA: I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. VP BIDEN: I was not born with a silver foot in my mouth!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 28 April 2012
