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Number of US illegal immigrants from Mexico drops

The number of Mexican immigrants illegally in the U.S. has dropped significantly for the 1st time in decades. The price of fruit and vegetables will increase significantly for the 1st time in decades.

written by JAB, 23 April 2012

Dick Clark Cremated, Memorial Service in Planning Stages

Clark will be honored next New Year's Eve in Times Square, where he televised the ball-dropping ceremony for decacades

Hmmm,which two parts did they not cremate?

written by JAB, 23 April 2012

Pa. man hid phone in jail in prosthetic leg

Inmates are not allowed to bring their own phones into the jail. Robert Louis Stevenson apologized to the court saying, "That's where I always kept it when I worked at IHOP"

written by JAB, 23 April 2012

Pish Posh!

It is reported that Posh Spice aka Victoria Beckham, has 'designed' an £80k Range Rover. Of course she has, I've just spent the afternoon designing the first manned rocket to Mars..Blue Peter rules!

written by Herrdoktorfox, 23 April 2012

Milton Keynes Cartoonist Found Dead

A Milton Keynes cartoonist was found dead this morning. A police spokesman said: "details are sketchy."

written by IN SEINE, 23 April 2012

Motto For London Olympics Again Enrages Tehran

'First the Olympic logo spelled ZION,' said an Iranian official, 'now, the motto, Inspire a generation, is an anagram of Iran insane ego tripe, a clear reference to the views of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!'

written by Swan Morrison, 23 April 2012

Women of 50 invisible on TV, says Samantha Bond.

Eh? Who said that? Where did that voice come from?

written by radiogagger, 23 April 2012

Jazz FM found in breach after porn incident

Jazz FM has been found in breach of Ofcom's broadcasting code after the transmission of a pornographic soundtrack.

On the plus side they've doubled audience figures and advertising revenue.

written by radiogagger, 23 April 2012

Sarko 1 to Get New Rival

To keep up with the froggies with their "Sarko 1", the UK government wants to have their own executive Jet. It will be something new to put on their expenses claims.

written by IN SEINE, 23 April 2012

So Much for Austerity!

The government are proposing (at taxpayers expense) introducing their own version of Air Force One in such times of austerity. It will be called "I don't care force one".

written by IN SEINE, 23 April 2012

Inseine's BOOK OF THE DAY 29

"The Dawn Chorus"

by

Earl E. Riser

written by IN SEINE, 23 April 2012

Dog Snoopy is best man at Swansea church wedding!

They tied the knot after 14 years, did not want their much-loved pet to miss out on the ceremony.
Snoop kept the rings in a bag round his neck and barked to announce the service had finished.

"Nice!"

written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012

True Legend: It is legal for a man to urinate in public?

As long as it is on the rear wheel of his car.
Pregnant women can legally relieve themselves in any public place, including a policeman's helmet.

But if there is a witness, the law won't save you!

written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012

Having an easy-to-say name 'will help you get promoted'

Oh yes? Not in the UN: Trygve Halvdan Lie, Dag Hammarskjöld, Sithu U Thant, Javier Pérez de Cuéllar, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Kofi Atta Annan, & Ban Ki Moon?

written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012

Oregon Airport stripper says he was 'nude but not lewd'

An Oregon man stripped naked at Portland International Airport as a protest against security screeners, then claimed his act of defiance as protected political speech.

"His Metal was detected!"

written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012

New Mexico fat cat weighs in at nearly 40 pounds

It's not clear how the feline was able to gain so much weight in just two years. Adult cats typically weigh between seven and 12 pounds.

"Purrhaps he's been eating the local dogs?"

written by Inchcock, 23 April 2012
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