Fox Anchor's Pepper Spray Quote Spawns New Fox News Tag Line
"Fox News: It's a derivative of actual news. It's a fool's product, essentially."
written by manbrad, 23 November 2011
Yemen President's announcement to quit misunderstood
Yemeni president Saleh announced that he would quit after 33 years which led protesters to celebrate too quickly, assuming that he was stepping down. He meant instead that he'd quit smoking cigars.
written by Lyndon, 23 November 2011
Herman Denies Sexual Harassment Charges, Approves Waterboarding as an Interrogation Technique..
...agrees to be waterboarded to prove his innocence.
written by NWNewsmash, 23 November 2011
Greece find innovative ways to pay off their debt
Greece have set up a premium rate phone number for people's suggestions on how they can pay of their debt. It costs 300 Euros a minute (or part minute) and may involve a long call.
written by IainB, 23 November 2011
History repeats itself
Satellite surveillance of Gaddafi regime reveals archeological sites preserved under desert sands in Libya, including ancient drainpipe where fleeing tyrant of antiquity was mercilessly executed.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 23 November 2011
Russia threatens to "nuke" Europe if the US build a Disney Park in Poland!
The Russian President has threatened to nuke Europe if the US build a Disney Park in Poland. Then Obama threatened to nuke Iran in return. Russia bottled because Iran is a Mickey Mouse ally!
written by unknown
David and Ed Milliband bang it up stylee
David and Ed Milliband were seen a pushing and a shoving each other last night in Southwark after an EDL knees up in the Lord Nelson Pub. The ruckus stopped when Ed complained.
written by Bert Onassis, 23 November 2011
David Cameron avoids a prison sentence
When askin in PMQs today if he knew about the recent problems at Wandsworth prison, He remarked "you mean the place where the scum live".
The whole house nodded
written by Bert Onassis, 23 November 2011
Helicoptor crashes whilst lowering Brucie's toupee in Trafalgar Square for Christmas
Helicoptor pilot Sid James had a lucky escape when he crashed his helicoptor whilst lowering Bruce forsyth's toupee in Trafalgar Square today for the Christmas celebrations. The lights still work!
written by Bert Onassis, 23 November 2011
Ron Paul Does Tell It Like It Is
Ron Paul was asked what exactly about war is it that he dislikes so much. He smiled, shook his head, and remarked, "Oh well, I guess I would have to say that it's the fighting part."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Herman Cain Sure Stepped On Wolf Blitzer's Toes
GOP debate moderator Wolf Blitzer did not appreciate Herman Cain referring to him as "Blitz." He told him that if he did it again, he was going to refer to him as "Pizza Boy."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Michele Bachmann Did A Sarah Palin Boo Boo
Michele Bachmann was asked what she'd do to stop the flow of illegal drugs coming in from Mexico. She answered, "Well, I guess I would damn up the Mississippi River to dry it up."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Rick Santorum Is Still Kinda Working On His Priorities
Rick Santorum was asked what for him stood out about the latest GOP Presidential Debate. He winked and said that he really liked how nice Michele Bachmann looked in her black blouse and white jacket.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Ron Paul Simply Misheard The Question Perhaps
Ron Paul was asked for his opinion on the Patriot Act. He told the debate moderator Wolf Blitzer that he was there to talk about national security and not about the NFL New England football team.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Health and safety edict
Health and safety campaigners have successfully managed to have the cliché "Fall on you like a ton of bricks" removed, due to the dangerous nature of falling bricks.
written by IainB, 23 November 2011
Democrats angered by talkshow host Fallon's lead-in song for Michele Bachmann
Democrats demand answers from Jimmy Fallon. When introducing Bachmann, Fallon's band played the "la la la" portion of "Lyin' Ass Bitch." They wonder why the title portion wasn't sung aloud instead.
written by Lyndon, 23 November 2011
Man learns a valuable lesson
North London resident, Bill Brainless, has discovered to his cost why he should not walk on busy highways. He was seriously injured when he fell down an extremely deep pot hole that ended in China.
written by whatinthe world, 23 November 2011
New Road Tolls - MPs won't need to pay!
MPs can claim the £5.30 cost of using the M6 toll and Transport for London's £10 Congestion Charge on their journey to and from their constituencies.
So no doubt then, that any worker going to or coming from work will be exempt too?! I don't think!
written by Inchcock, 23 November 2011
Man Utd get stung by Portugese man o war!
Man Utd swimming in dangerous seas got severely stung by a team of Portugese Man of Wars last night. Now they must shoot even more holes in a block of Swiss cheese. They've got a toblerone to climb!
written by unknown
Nottingahm has increased charges for city centre car parking by more than twice the rate of inflation
'Well thank you!'
written by Inchcock, 23 November 2011
Kansas Bans A Popular Kids Game
Kansas has outlawed the children's party game of bunny rabbit juggling. They say it traumatizes the kids and the bunny rabbits hate it all to hell.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Fido and Fluffy Are Two Happy Pets
A homeless man in Beverly Hills, California has just become a millionaire with his invention of condoms for family pets, including dogs, cats, and hamsters.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Satan Wore Red Lipstick
Historical experts now believe that the devil is really a female due to the fact that there is no man in the world who would dress in red from head to toe.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
Can You Say OUCH?
A Lake Charles, Louisiana man was furious when he woke up from a nap and found that his wife had given him a vasectomy using a lobster.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 23 November 2011
About Being Green
Scientists have proven that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence in colder sections of the USA, especially if it's Astroturf!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
In Good Spirits
The Jack Daniels whiskey distillery may be moving from Lynchburg TN because of a tax dispute. 49 other states and 100 world countries are expected to gin-up an offer!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
Vegans Rejoice
President Obama has signed legislation designating a whole wheat (it grows) pizza as a vegetable if it is topped with tomato sauce (no cheese), onions, peppers, mushrooms, garlic, olives & artichokes!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
A Tale of Two Countries
Saudi Arabia bans women from showing sexy eyes to men. A Florida woman undergoes an illegal butt enhancement employing concrete injections.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
Spell Check
President Obama has issued an email to the White House staff that Oblabber, Obummer and any other variants are not the correct spelling of his name!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
They Got the Bird
The turkey at the PETA Thanksgiving Dinner is to be made of Tofu. PETA is on the alert, at last year's dinner two disgruntled employees had substituted chopped liver (pate) for Tofu!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
Campaign 2012 Blame Game
President Obama blames the Republicans for the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD and the subsequent destruction of Pompeii, which he indicates can be fixed by enacting a millionaire's tax!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 23 November 2011
Great Neck students found cheating cheaper than taking SAT prep class
Some 20 high school students are in big trouble after paying smart college kids to take their tests for them. Said one: "Why not pay a kid $1,500 when it costs $2,500 for an effin SAT prep class?"
written by Lyndon, 23 November 2011
