Manny Pacquiao at a loss for words after he steals win from Juan Marquez
Also at a loss for words, Marquez steals Pacquiao's hubcaps.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 November 2011
Herman Cain stumbles badly on Libya question
Cain: "After taking my time to determine who the opposition is, I think I prefer Del Monte's pumpkin pie recipe over Libya's."
written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 November 2011
Deal or No Deal to be made more exciting
Noel Edmonds has indicated that the new series of Deal or No Deal will be made more exciting. "One of the boxes will contain a bomb," said Edmonds.
written by IainB, 14 November 2011
Plans Revealed For Use Of The Olympic Flame After The 2012 Games
'It was to be used to keep the homeless warm on London's streets,' revealed Lord Coe. 'However, after discussion with our sponsors, it will now heat the offices of senior executives in the City.'
written by Swan Morrison, 14 November 2011
Justin Timberlake joins the US Marines!
Justin Timberlake decided to join the US Marines, womens brigade, but was rejected because he wasn't "hard enough"!
written by unknown
Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad
Rick Perry remembered two out of three. That's two more than Sarah Palin.
written by K.C. Bell, 14 November 2011
Man Who Pinched PCSO's Bottom Admits Theft
A Liverpool man who pinched a PCSO's bottom has admitted theft and promises to return the item immediately.
written by IN SEINE, 14 November 2011
Stoned Dutch woman breaks nose after slamming into her wardrobe door!
A ver stoned Dutch woman was rushed to hospital after breaking her nose today. She was so high she didn't notice that her wardrobe door was open; When asked if it hurt she replied, "way out man!"
written by unknown
Gaddafi 'bedded four women' before holding.....
rough trade talks with Prince Andrew!
written by queen mudder, 14 November 2011
Osama alive and well
Notorious terrorist leader, Osama Bin Laden, is reputedly still alive and last seen having a meal at a McDonald's restaurant in Cleveland, Ohio. He ate a Big Mac with a medium chocolate shake. God!!!
written by whatinthe world, 14 November 2011
"Hiroki, Did I Not Say Turn Reft At The Righthouse?"
A World War II, two-man Japanese submarine has been found in Lake Erie. The CIA, FBI, and Secret Service all have lots and lots of questions.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
Costa Ricans Can Make Anything Out Of Anything
The word on the streets of Central America is that Costa Rica has developed a missile that is made up entirely from banana parts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
Dick Cheney's Book Is Ready For Thanksgiving
Dick Cheney's recent book is already in the bargain book bin at Walmart right next to Chris Christie's book, Yeah, I Salt My Food With Bacon Bits So What?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
The Occupy Wall Streeters Are Heading West
A bad snowstorm caused the Occupy Wall Street movement in International Falls, Minnesota to vote to leave there and relocate to Hollywood, California.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
Mexico Has A Very Serious Problem
Mexico says the Guatemalan illegal alien problem is getting out of hand. The plan to start construction on a wall between Mexico and Guatemala that will be built from recycled tamale shucks.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
Sarah Palin Knows Exactly How To Make Michele Bachmann Feel Better (?)
Sarah Palin recently called up Michele Bachmann and told her not to let the fact that people keep saying that she has one hell of an ugly looking hairdo bother her in the least.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
Jet Blue Sets The Wing Question Right
Jet Blue says the story about the left wing falling off of one of their jets is false. They pointed out it was the right wing and that the pilot managed to land the plane with not much problem.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
.22s, .38s, .44s, and .45s
The state of Texas has just passed a bill which allows day care center teachers to carry handguns during school hours, but they must be unloaded and used only to keep unruly students in line.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 14 November 2011
For richer or poorer
Obama works with Chinese President Hu Jintao on U.S.-China economic relationship, hoping to tap China's 300 million middle-class consumers, since the U.S. no longer has a middle class.
written by The San Francisco Onion, 14 November 2011
