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According to Twitter, 1000 turtledoves have committed suicide over Italy today. In comparison, three Afghans, thought to be Taleban insurgents, detonated their suicide bombs.
written by IN SEINE, 08 January 2011
Oldest man in the world 111
Sorry, we got that wrong. He's ill.
written by armfeetandtoe, 08 January 2011
Utah Tells NASCAR Bye-Bye
The state of Utah has just banned NASCAR racing in the state saying it only helps to encourage fast driving, cussing, and young women constantly flashing their tata's.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
The Winner of Iran's 'Last Comic Standing' Is Very Lucky In Many Ways
Iranian stand up comedian Shamad Fasuli has won this year's edition of Iran's Last Comic Standing. Unlike its American counterpart where the losers go home the Iranian losers sadly disappear.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
The Motion Picture Academy Announces: Se Habla Español
The Motion Picture Academy has stated that if the L.A. restaurants do not go down on their exorbitantly high prices the Academy Award Show will be moved down to Tijuana, Mexico.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
The Popular Show 'Army Wives' Has Given Birth To A Bouncing Little Spin Off
The hit show Army Wives has given birth to a spin off show called Dancing With The Army Wives On Ice While Singing.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Jeff Foxworthy - The Good Old Red Neck Does Tell It Like It Is
Jeff Foxworthy has stated that there is really no point in taking his hit show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? to Arizona.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
China Re-invents The Wheel
Industry analysts ponder if know-how linked to Renault scandal.
written by Hawking's Chair, 08 January 2011
Gore on WC Network.
Al Gore to play Herman in a new updated version of "The Munsters". So far everyone has rejected the part of Lillian Munster including Betty White.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Mime "Breaks" Silence
Old familiar mime in Paris finally breaks his silence after 40 years. Blames sweet potato pie for lunch.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Look What They Dug Up
Mayor Bloomberg announced this morning that police in Manhattan have raided an illegal gambling establishment secretly located for years behind a blacksmith shop. It had been buried under some snow.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Fewer Buying Personal Products
New Study: Fewer women impersonators than ever purchasing birth control pills, mini pads.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Giant Mouse on the loose!
A giant mouse was seen eating a cat food factory last night.
Police say the rodent is still on the loose and cats should be kept indoors.
written by armfeetandtoe, 08 January 2011
Tanning Salon Says, "Read the Fine Print!"
Women Sue Over Secret Camera in Tanning Salon...after seeing themselves on TV ads, huge advertising posters.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Only Guaranteed Length
Man with the world's longest penis suing Nigerians. "The thing lost most of it's circumference", says unhappy pencil-dick.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Some Hothead
Incendiary Packages Sent to MD Gov. from Person Angry Over Electronic Road Signs! Also, brine on road before snowfall, Lack of more billboards with hot bikini-clad women.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Sencors Left on Moon Revealing
New data collected from sensors left on moon in 1971 show aliens plans to "Go after the animal kingdom first."
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Who Wrote the Secret New Obama Novel?
Who Wrote the Secret New Obama Novel? So far, the only clue is that they spell nuclear as "nucklar".
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Big Snake Disappers on Subway
Pet Snake Disappears On Boston Subway, Causing Delays...kidney, bowel malfunctions.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
A Hole is Right
'WE'RE DIGGING OUT OF A HOLE' says President Obama. "A HOLES were the ones who got us in here", state new congressmen & congresswomen.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Symbolic StepsTaken
House takes symbolic step to repeal health law by each stomping on ObamaCare bill book one at a time.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
To Most it's a Turnoff
Chemical signal in women's tears a turnoff for men. Same thing applies to men's semen.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Gates Headed For China
Gates heads to China, hopes for improved relations. "My great grandmother was Chinese and I hope to meet more of my kinfolk", he tells reporters.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Bill Burning in DC
House takes symbolic step to repeal health law with massive copies of ObamaCare Bill fires behind the White House lawn.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Point & Shoot
Camera makers slash prices on new point-and-shoots. Gun makers headed in the same direction.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
PETA Blames Everybody & Everything on Earth
Birds, Bees, and a Shark: Buzz Week where there were more animal suicides than ever should tell us something.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Obama: Right on Schedule
Obama says economy moving in right direction...if you want to flush it down the toilet.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Still Resisting US
Iraqi cleric says followers still resisting US as well as everyone else in Iraq & Afghanistan.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Dating Tip For Guys #01
Dating Tip For Guys #01: If you ever come across a girl who tells you that she can lick both of her elbows, you may want to hold on to her, she definitely has the earmarks of a keeper.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Damn - The Sun Is Sure One Hot SOB!
The temperature of the hottest spot on the sun is 28,080,000 degrees F, or hot enough to reduce Heidi Montag to about three Dixie cups of plastic.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Live With Regis and Kelly Still Has A Nice Ring To It
Kelly Ripa threatens to quit Live With Regis and Kelly unless the name is changed to Live With Kelly and Regis. The producer tells her, "Okay, don't let the door hit you on your way out bitch."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Mama Why Is Grandma Hollering Like A Crazed Banshee?
Dupont is asking any customers who may have purchased the Laser 9X Thermometer to please return it before it burns the friggin hell out of your tongue or even worse your...
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Why Doesn't Arizona Like The Show Good Morning America?
Arizona has banned the morning show Good Morning America. The shows executives are so mad they decide to change the shows name to Good Morning America And Eff You Arizona.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
The Yum Yum Cannibals of Lower Zamgola Are A Hungry Bunch of Mofoin Heathens!
National Geographic wants to apologize to the viewers of the Discovery Channel for accidentally showing the Yum Yum cannibals of Lower Zamgola having a dinner of Danish tourists.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Salad Croutons Can Be A Bitch
The woman with the world's smallest waist had to be taken to the hospital when she accidentally swallowed a salad crouton.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Jon Stewart Because Everyone Knows That The "H" Is Silent
Jon Stewart of The Daily Show has disclosed that since everyone misspells his first name he is going to go ahead and add the missing letter "H." So Stewart's first name will now be spelled Hjon.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Come To Lovely Ethiopia But Bring Plenty of Eats
The Food Network has revealed that its Food Network affiliate in Ethiopia is shutting down because the country is running out of food faster than Wynonna Judd can scarf down a bucket of KFC Chicken.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Is It WalMart? Or Is It Memorex?
The CEO of WalMart says that he will be seeing to it that the company's name is corrected and the new WallMart signs replace the old misspelled ones.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 08 January 2011
Boehner Explains Name
New Speaker of the House, Boehner says he is not of Mexican descent. "It's pronounced 'bay-ner' not 'bean-ner'."
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
No Chupacabra
Biologists now confirm that a hairless animal shot by a man in Nelson County, Ky. nearly 3 weeks ago is not a chupacabra but a hairless raccoon. "Sure it is, now that you've shaved it", says finder.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Two-Headed Calf Can Eat Twice as Much
Two-headed calf eats with both mouths. "It's a good thing it also has two asses", says farmer.
written by Bureau, 08 January 2011
Dog with no testicles sues owner
A Great Dane is sueing his owner after waking up and finding his testicles missing. The owner is counter sueing for damage to the garden lawn.
written by armfeetandtoe, 08 January 2011
