Barack Confirms Egyptian Power Bid
The President said today via video-link:
Today I can confirm, that as well as being Commander in Chief of our great nation, I will also be the acting Pharoah of Egypt
written by Masheded, 31 January 2011
Morgus atant'e et fortim bunto!
Fuck it! We dont know what it means either! but it must be news..............Anyone?
written by armfeetandtoe, 31 January 2011
Tramp earns fortune at Lourdes
Tramp, Paul Dimstit, has a piss stain on his trousers that resembles the face of Jesus. Many people say they have been blessed, but wont drink his holy water.
written by armfeetandtoe, 31 January 2011
Egypt Dictator Now Uses Facebook to Fight Protesters
In the latest update Hosni Mubarak has allegedly "friended" former Tunisian dictator Ben Ali on Facebook and the two have set up a page: "I hate protesters wanting Freedom and such-like". Related Story
written by ronin47empire, 31 January 2011
Egypt Tour Operators "Edit" Brochure
Tour guides unable to cancel thousands of reservations have quietly amended the itinerary. The original 6 days/7 nights package now reads "6 days/7 nights and 1 riot". Click here for full story
written by ronin47empire, 31 January 2011
Hosni Mubarak Pretends To Be Cool
82 year old Hosni Mubarak insisted he was still cool and jumped to bizarre conclusion the protesters in Cairo hated everyone the Egyptian except him. Click here for full story.
written by ronin47empire, 31 January 2011
Sheen's Rehab and The Two and a Half Men Fallout.
While Charlie Sheen is in rehab, 2.5 Men will be on hiatus, and it could cost WB $250 million. Also, Angus T. Jones will be 6'7", 285 lbs. by the time Sheen is released.
written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Cocaine Prices Expected To Drop As Charlie Sheen Enters Rehab.
Now that Charlie Sheen is in rehab, experts expect that the glut of the drug on the market will cut the price of cocaine at the retail level by 15-40%.
written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Charlie Sheen Enters Betty Ford, Ford Fights Back.
Charlie Sheen entered Betty Ford this week, much to the chagrin of the 92-year-old First Lady. "Great. It's not like there's a lot of syphilis treatments available to someone my age." Allegedly.
written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Flight from Egypt
Exodus 1:31
And they called the airline and said, what time is the next flight
A voice said, Get your ass here right away
And it came to pass they landed safely at JFK
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
As the crisis in Egypt deepens... stay tuned to CNN for up-to-the-minute reports about Charlie Sheen.
As the crisis in Egypt deepens, stay tuned to CNN for up-to-the-minute reports. About Charlie Sheen.
written by anthonyrosania, 31 January 2011
Fireman arrested after bying stolen hose
"I had my fingers burnt mate". Said Sam the fireman.
written by armfeetandtoe, 31 January 2011
Snippet Service Bored Of Being Only 200 Words
LONDON - The Spoof.com's snippet service is bored of being just over a text message length long. "It sucks ass," it beeped. "I want to help Spoofers express themselves more!"
written by Inhopeless, 31 January 2011
Ant eater sues racist Zoo Keeper!
"All I said was, why the long face?" Claims Keeper.
written by armfeetandtoe, 31 January 2011
Berlusconi Missing After Being Linked To Another Minor in "Bunga Bunga"
Nobody knows his whoreabouts.
written by Hawking's Chair, 31 January 2011
Assange: "Wikileaks Are Like Fondling Fathers"
Sorry, that should have been "Founding Fathers."
written by Hawking's Chair, 31 January 2011
Clinton Cautions Egypt
On Meet the Press, Secretary of State Clinton says she and her staff have watched the movie, The Ten Commandments several times and believe the Egyptian demonstrators have protected human rights.
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
Vice President Biden says "President is on top of Egypt situation"
Biden reacting to criticism of the president's handling of the crisis in Cairo said, "The President is in daily and sometimes three times a day with Jose Mubarak."
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
Italy's Berlusconi offers asylum to Egyptians
President Silvio Berlusconi said on Italian TV, "I will personally welcome all Egyptian belly dancers under the age of 18 wanting to come to Italy."
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
SAG Award Winners
92 year old Ernest Borgnine for Eyes, 87 year old Betty White for Breasts, 93 year old Phyllis Diller for Face and Warren Beatty 'Your so Vain' Beatty for My Johnson
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
Gillard's Flood Fix
Autralian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, introduces a new flood levy to pay for the National Broadband Network.
Faster downpours assured for eastern Australia.
Popularity soars.
written by John Cavanagh, 31 January 2011
Shangheist! China censors Internet
The Chinese government has blocked social networking sites and search engines from pulling up anything about the Egyptian uprising, lest their people get any kung funny ideas.
written by Juvenal Delinquent, 31 January 2011
SAG Awards illustrate superficiality of Egyptian uprising
As Egyptians pass the time protesting over trifles like democracy and human rights, The United States is busy doing the important work of honoring the acting talent of the rich and famous.
written by Juvenal Delinquent, 31 January 2011
Palin weighs in on riots in Egypt
"I think they need more moolah than mullahs," said Palin in an exclusive interview with The Penny Saver
written by JAB, 31 January 2011
