Dodgy English Deal Spells end for UK Carier bag Industry
English bag firm HNKL have confirmed thier Tasco funding, and are waiting for the consumer to forget about global warming.
"bags are a form of food..just look at dog pooh"
written by Masheded, 21 January 2011
Anyway, No Pardon!
No parole for Manson follower, Bullwinkle...Garfunkle.. Krenwinkel!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
One Big Rocket
23-story rocket blasts off in California. "This baby could wipe out an entire nation", states Military Specialist.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Croc Ate My Phone
No app for this: Croc gulps phone, starts ringing. Strangely, it was th music to "Crocodile Rock".
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Obama's Daughter A Teacher?
Obama's daughter, Sasha, practices Chinese with Hu. "He's getting a lot better", she tells everyone.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
At Least His Hair Aint' White No More!
Are Things Looking Up For President Obama? Only if he's on his back like a turtle, clawing to get up!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Jimmy Weds Alicia
After a whirlwind smile funny faced funny man Jimmy Carr will marry popular R&B singer Alicia Keys.At the ceremony,always the man for a one liner,Jimmy quipped'She will be known as Alicia Carr-Keys'
written by Mr Goster, 21 January 2011
Spurs and West Ham Agree to Share
Tottenman Hotspurs and West Ham United have agreed to share the former Olympic Stadium after the Games in 1012. Spurs will be call Hamspurs and United will become Totham.
written by j.w., 21 January 2011
The Spoof Is Now On Twatter
Sorry, that should be Twitter. Also on Fartbook. Oops, again. That's Facebook.
written by Hawking's Chair, 21 January 2011
Highly Sexed Police
Instead on wielding truncheons the modern police have sexed up their equipment. The latest guns shoot hot liquid at the victim, sometimes a willing participant. Disciplinary measures can follow.
written by j.w., 21 January 2011
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #5
"We don't just buy anyone!" claims Roberto Mancini as he stood by the revolving door at the City of Manchester Stadium.
written by masterchev, 21 January 2011
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #4
"The Beckham Saga"
Beckham seeks guy from Go Compare advert to give him cheaper insurance as the posh twat seeks a start for Spurs Reserves.
written by masterchev, 21 January 2011
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #3
Liverpool's "King" Kenny Dalglish sighted at Aldi searching for "quality buy"
written by masterchev, 21 January 2011
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #2
More French immigrants detained at Calais as Wenger looks to mount a title race.
written by masterchev, 21 January 2011
The Ins and Outs of the Transfer Window #1
David Moyes will buy top defender "G. Wall of China" on loan from Shanghai in a bid to buy a defence which cannot be breached.
written by masterchev, 21 January 2011
KFC in the UK prove they serve real chicken!
KFC in Nuneaton, UK, have now proof that the chicken nuggets they sell are real chickens not reconstituted. KFC only buy live chickens and one even flew through the window, what a "cock-up"!
written by unknown
San Fran Still Heavy in Debt, Gives Out Bonuses
Facing $1.6B shortfall, San Fran pays employees $170 million in bonuses. Other states who are managing well say they will not pay Calif. bills.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Where Are They?
Obama seeks to highlight economic successes as several states may seek bankruptcy.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Porn on Cable?
Parents Television Council calls for Federal investigation into MTV's 'Skins'...also, TNN's "Kin".
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Police Budget Cuts
Are police budget cuts putting lives at risk? "We're buying our protection elsewhere now", states shopkeeper.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Clowns to The Left of Me!
HUNDREDS of mourners pay their last respects to Gerry Rafferty at his funeral. Afterward he was "stuck in the middle" of the ground.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Alex Reid: No More Cross-Dressing
Alex Reid vows never to become cross-dressing alter ego Roxanne again. "I just don't have the legs for it."
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Andy Coulson Resigns
Andy Coulson today resigned as the PM's communications chief at Downing Street. Plans to live off blackmail while vacationing for the next five-ten years.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Biggest Loser
John (2 Eye-Bags) Prescott revealed today that he will be joining the next series of 'Biggest Loser'.
written by Mikethelad, 21 January 2011
French FM Protested in Gaza
Palestinian protesters confront French FM in Gaza...say they are tired of hearing "Hava Nagila".
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Snowy Commute
Northeast is waking up to snowy morning commute for the first time since...yesterday morning, actually.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
500 New Jobs for Callers!
Call center to hire 500! Ask employees to talk with Indian accent until Americans can get used to talking to Americans once again.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Rubbing Their Nose in It?
Proposal suggests reducing drug penalties. "Instead of same arrests for meth, etc. It will be more economical to give them enough to drop out of the living population.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Obama Names Economic Successes
Obama seeks to highlight economic successes. "Number one, we have brought down the prices of houses. Number two...we have brought down the price of houses. Your turn Joe."
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Venus Withdraws
Venus Williams early injury pullout from 3rd round. Banana peeling-throwing fan banned for life.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Modern Memorabilia
William and Kate memorabilia with a twist as figurine shows couple surrounded by vampires, werewolves and zombies.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
How Soon We Forget
Bin Laden says France will pay for Afghan policy. Many asking, who or what is a bin Laden?
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
TheSpoof Brings Down Another One!
UK leader's top aide resigns in tabloid and TheSpoof reported scandal!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Nothing Else to Do Right Now
Iran and 6 powers begin nuke talks, getting that stupid "worm" out of their weapon launching systems.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Tunisians Demand Freedom
Tunisians mourn slain protesters, demand freedom...like they used to have in the United States.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Gifts Are Fine, But...
Foreign officials shower Obamas with gifts. "What we really need is forgiveness of our national debt", he tells them.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Traced Them with Sound Equipment
SKorea storms ship to rescue crew from pirates, right in the middle of their tenth repetition of "Yo-ho-ho"!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Just Not There #2
Obama seeks to highlight economic successes, but that 13-14 Trillion Dollar Debt keeps getting in the way.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
They're Just Not There
Obama seeks to highlight economic successes, just as soon as he can find one.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Bison Migrating
Spared slaughter, some bison migrate into Montana, but totally avoid Cheney's Wyoming, Palin's Alaska.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Jake & Elwood Specials
15 best Chicago coffee shops? Number one again this year is "The Brews Brothers"!
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Good Old Joe President
AP-GfK Poll: Obama popular personally but ranks very low on accomplishments.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Mafia Arrests Continue
127 charged in New York Mafia crackdown. Next they plan to go after 350 more in New Jersey, then Washington DC.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
Wenger buys Scunthorpe
Arsenals plans to buy Scunthorpe stopped when new name of team revealed using first 4 letters of Arsenal and 2nd to 5th letters of Scunthorpe..."Eez zis a problem?" said Wenger
written by Mikethelad, 21 January 2011
Escaped Pigs On The Loose In Southampton
Last seen on M27, with sign reading: "Get us out of here PLEASE! Take us to Pompey!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 January 2011
Liam Gallagher Vow Shocker
Music news just in,ex-Oasis front man Liam Gallagher has vowed to fans he will write a song that DOESN'T sound like The Beatles before he dies.He said to reporters this morning 'I'm working on it!'
written by Mr Goster, 21 January 2011
Still ,It Was Original
Judges say that one reason that Miss Tennessee didn't win the Miss America contest was because during the talent contest, the Miss America usually played the ventriloquist, not the dummy.
written by Bureau, 21 January 2011
