Kanye dig it bro?
Thought not. Most people opine that middle class people should stop trying to be down with the homies, and just grow up.
Source: National Office Of Lies.
written by Skoob1999, 16 September 2009
Farmer's Haystack Explodes
Amorous husband who talks wife into getting into farmer's haystack for a quickie told "There will be two needles in here now!"
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Shots For Computer Virus
Fake home nurse making her rounds among older people in out of the way places and charging $50 for special Computer Virus prick with needle, say that police man.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
New Vet Rocket
In Bowling Green, Kentucky where all the Corvettes are made, they have shown a new hybrid model that's part corvette, part rocket. Only gets 8 MPG but you get anywhere in continental US in one hour.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Yep, I Guess I Am!
New wrestler "Pat from Parts Unknown" still refuses to say whether they are a man or a women, only "Yes".
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
US Maps Not Up-To-Date
FEMA, only now getting to some parts of rural Kentucky over January ice storm, say they were having a hard time finding "Kane-Tuck" on their latest Government-issued map.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
No Messing Around With Me!
Former wrestler and Minnesota Governor, Jesse Ventura, stated Wednesday that if he were president and anyone called him a liar, he'd go pound on his head till he was two-feet tall!
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
They Always Give Themselves Away
French say they may have discovered the "Body Part Killer" after arresting man waiting for bus while jiggling toes in his pocket.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Robby's Robot Demands
Latest Japanese robot balks at performing any more functions until it has been given a penis.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Broke My False Teeth
Old man eating ten boxes of Cracker Jacks a day informed that toy in each box was not for fiber.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Here Boy!
NASA is puzzled over Mars Rover as it keeps running after someone or something throwing stick.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
"I Thought You Said..."
White House apologized yesterday after calls to Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton were redirected to a sex line, for a second time. Bill very disappointed in bed last night.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
UFO Low On Fuel
Unified Flying Object runs short of fuel outside Omaha, Nebraska. Alien asks couple there to take him to their liter.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Scratching Backs
Yesterday in New York, President Obama had lunch with former President Clinton. Clinton reminds Obama that should Hillary check, he was at Obama's beer party this coming Saturday night.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Abortions Pose Risk For Children
Women who have abortions could be posing a risk to future of children, according to research published today from the Duh Institute.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Michael Palin Criticizes BBC
Monty Python would never have been made says Michael Palin in rant at BBC over 'managerial interference'. "I would have wound up being a lumberjack in Canada."
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Liars Anonymous?
Brown accused of lying as secret Treasury papers reveal he's been planning spending cuts of 10% for months. Claims that US President's lying led him astray.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
President Sends A Few Bucks
Kenyan authorities have begun to move residents out of Africa's largest slum, the home town of 200 of Obama cousins, the Kibera settlement in Nairobi.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Farm Open Too Long
E.coli farm 'was open too long' say health officials. "Besides, whose idea was it to open an E.coli Farm anyway?"
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Obama a brown racist, it's possible!
Ex Pres and "Lord of the Peanuts" Jimmy Carter has told the world Obama is a brown racist, Obama admitted this fact and told all blacks and whites "to sniff his very brown butt!!"
written by unknown
VP Bragging Again
VP Joe "The Lip" Biden says that he and the Missus went at it so hard last night that she pulled a hamstring and he blew ten hair plugs!
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Peso Celebrations Continue
The Mexican peso has climbed once again against the dollar leading WallyMart employees to celebrate all over the United states.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Loud Music, Thumping
A 98-year-old woman has been evicted from her sheltered accommodation after complaints she harassed neighbors. "I know it's only rock n' roll but I like it", states the lady.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Postal Strike Still On!
A series of local postal strikes are continuing to take place across England ahead of the start of an official ballot for a UK-wide national walkout, strike leader e-mails those who hadn't noticed.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Carter Mad After Hitting Thumb With hammer!
Is Carter right to label Obama row 'racist'? "Could be", say most. "He's overdue to get something right sometimes."
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Democrat Jackasses At War
President Barack Obama has labelled rap star Kanye West a "jackass" for interrupting Taylor Swift's winning speech at the MTV Awards on Sunday. Kayne responds with, "You lie!"
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Replaced By Free Drug Ads
A video promoting tourism in Denmark has been removed from YouTube after complaints it promoted promiscuity, something abhorred by all Danes.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Joined By Weather Forecasters
Doctors warn on climate failure. "Suddenly the world will wake up to no weather", say 18 leading medical groups, mostly shrinks.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
PM Cements Power Shift
New Prime Minister cements Japan power shift as opponents say goodbye to families after having feet placed into buckets.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Sniper Gets Execution Date
A US judge in Virginia has set a 10 November execution date for the man behind the 2002 sniper attacks on the Washington DC area. The execution will be by firing squad hid in the trees.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Barroso Receives Mandate
Euro MPs give Barroso new mandate but man returned after Barroso adds reply that he is not gay and even if he was, he would choose his own date.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Senator Baucus The First
US Senator Max Baucus, a key figure in the drive to reform the American healthcare system, has published his version of a bill. The other 99 bills will be handed over by each Senator this week.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Trafigura Hands Over $30,000 To 30,000 Victims
BBC Newsnight has learnt that oil-trading company Trafigura has offered to pay damages of ten-year average wages in a case relating to toxic waste dumping of 100,000 barrels in Ivory Coast.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
The Grand Prick?
Flavio Briatore, has left his position as boss of the Renault team after they decided not to contest charges of fixing the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix and the 2011 race as well.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Plenty Of Fraud To Go Around
Afghan President Karzai's campaign team has condemned as "irresponsible" claims by EU monitors about the extent of election fraud. Apparently, the UN protests were dated two days before the election.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Keeps Marriages Interesting
Women may be able to blame extravagant shopping & impulse buys on their time of the month, a new study suggests. Men blame the same thing for having to head for the bar to get smashed, watch football.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Post Office Creating Rare Stamps?
Postmaster General warns congress post office is losing funds. Ask if they can make 2 only upside-down rare $250,000 stamps to sell with each new printing, permission to strike a few on space station.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
But Friends Call Him , "The Whopper!"
Wisconsin man who has eaten over 23,000 Big Macs, double that of ordinary Americans, in 36 years, always says goodbye to friends, family before each order.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Eat, Drink & Be Insured
Burger, pizza makers ready to triple fat content once universal health bill passed.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Heineken Sues Keineken
Heineken, the world's most popular lager, sues "Keineken" for trademark infringement. Keineken sues "Next-o-kin" Cheap 90% Alcohol Wine Company!
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Showerhead Warnings
Showerheads may harbor bacteria dangerous to some, but French seem to be doing fine.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Can Obama Settle Rebukes?
Partisan tension lingers after Wilson rebuke by Democrats. Republicans to meet and rebuke rebukers today.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Doe Color Matter?
House considers funding green vehicle research. Red, blue and white vehicles are next in line.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Biden Blasts Bombers!
Three arrested for rocket attack during Biden visit to Iraq but Dick Cheney said to have escaped.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
No Racists Here
Wilson's son says Congressman is not racist and neither is President Obama even after Kayne West comments.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Five Year Sentence Over Accident
A Beechwood, California man has been sentenced to 5 years for fatal shit-and-run as fragile old lady crossed between him and port-o-potty!
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Keith Wins Award
Toby Keith voted songwriter/artist of the decade. Narrowly edges out Weird Al Yankovic.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Rocky Planet Found
Astronomers find Rocky Planet outside solar system. Every single person there apparently trying to make a boxing comeback.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Health Bills Drown
Baucus unveiling health bill without GOP on board. GOP unveils health bill without Baucus aboard. Several other plans being floated around.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Independ Study Condemned
Israel, Palestinians reject independent inquiry into Gaza war. "Study only heard the lies from both sides."
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Spank Away!
Early spankings make for aggressive toddlers, excellent future soldiers, study shows!
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
ABC Criticizes Own Employees
ABC News says it was wrong for its employees to tweet that Obama had called West a "jackass" for the rapper's treatment of country singer Taylor Swift. "Why should we begin telling the truth now?"
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Freemason's Await Dan Brown Book
Freemasons await Dan Brown novel 'The Lost Symbol'. Goats being ridden day and night. Secret handshakes given extra thumbs-down addition.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
Wilson Expert On Liars
Congressman Joe Wilson's son says Congressman is not racist, but excellent at identifying liars.
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
"I Was Raped By A Celebrity" - says Jordan
"But I didn't realise it was rape until the cheque bounced".
written by Blazing Saddle, 16 September 2009
Law of diminishing returns validated again
Studies indicate vast majority of all stories published on The Spoof poorly written, not funny.
written by BCShow, 16 September 2009
"You Lie" Outlawed
Lawmaker's 'You lie' outburst draws House rebuke. Joe Wilson says the next time he'll change it to "You lying sack of shit!"
written by Bureau, 16 September 2009
