It seems that people who suck "nuts", hetero and gay are expected to live longer than non-suckers.
Scientists have been testing guinea pigs and discovered that the one's who suck small amounts every day are in less risk of getting cancer, heart disease, high-cholesterol problems, diabetes, etc.
Now this report is very good news for those people who love a good suck of the nuts, i.e. gay men, female porno stars, deep throat film stars, housewives who still love their hubbies, followers of Desperate housewives, Sex and the city, etc.
Scientists have advised nut-suckers to stick to walnuts, non-roasted and a handful every day.
Chimpanzees, primates and gorillas seldom die of cancer and nuts contain huge amounts of antioxidants, hence.
Now this report is mainly meant for real nut-suckers and not for those mentioned above because the scientists discovered that a quick suck on the "nuts" does not contain enough antioxidants, only when they're chewed correctly and swallowed do they work correctly, ouch?
Hence this spoof is a complete "blow (out) job" and of no scientific value whatsoever unless you're a naughty monkey?
