Future News: Dangerous New Drug 'Alcohol' Banned

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Future News: Dangerous New Drug 'Alcohol' Banned
This dangerous substance was the death of the Chino-Region.

To be published in 2178 - OBAMA, D.C. (EAST AMERICORP), LOSERDON (EMPIRE OF C4MER0N) - Research scientists at the University of Barack, and the Loserdon University have synthesised a drug called 'alcohol', a chemical found in the fossils of Old Age people before they died.

Alcohol, which was a common recreational drug, and was endorced by the entertainment of the time.

"In fact," says Dr. Zeus Buick, "the drug 'alcohol' was actually legal under most of the tribal democracies of the day. The early United States government, an inefficient machine, illegalised the substance, but they lifted the ban."

Alcohol was mainly distributed through 'pubs' or 'bars', which were particulary harmful places to be, as the people who drunk the alcohol, often disguised as a urine-coloured drink, were being fooled into doing stuff.

"Alcohol was thought to enhance one's social life," says Dr. Buick. "But, we can tell from fossil records, these guys died before they had a damn chance."

"We believe that alcohol was actually more dangerous than 'wrop' music of the the early 21st and late 20th century."

As of press time, students at the University of the Nation of Birmingham unearthed Ecx-Facter, a hypnosis tool used to scam people into having 'ability'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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