Written by IainB

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

image for Prince Charles to learn Scouse
A, A, A, One Must Calm Down, Mustn't One.

New research has shown that the Scouse accent is the best for talking to plants in order to make them grow.

Field trials were conducted at Cambridge University into whether or not talking to plants actually contributed anything to their growing ability.

The general consensus was that talking to plants had no effect. However, Charlotte Parkin at Cambridge on a scholarship from Wallasy in Liverpool, found that her plot out performed the other students.

"At first we thought it were cos I'd watered em and stuff," Charlotte said. "But it turned out everybody had done that hadn't they? So the professor guy said it was probly me accent. But I've not got an accent, I told him. He kinda insisted even tho I thought he were jokin and we got all me mates from 'Pool who are studyin here to try it."

The results were remarkable. The so-called 'Scouse' plots all outperformed the 'Posh' plots. The results were published in Nature under the headline 'Plants Speak Scouse', which attracted the attention of His Royal Highness, The Prince of Wales, Charlie Windsor.

"On hearing the news," said Ian Cider, a palace insider, "Charlie immediately enrolled on a course to learn Scouse. He believes that he will be able to get better results in his organic garden if he talks to them in a language they understand."

It is understood that Charles will be attending Liverpool football matches, dressing in a fleece and carrying his things around in a Lidl bag, in order to get fully into character.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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