Stephen Hawking says Santa Claus not real

Funny story written by cheesehoven

Thursday, 2 September 2010

image for Stephen Hawking says Santa Claus not real

The world's mightiest intellect has caused controversy by announcing that Father Christmas does not exist.

In a brilliant interview in the Guardian, Europe's foremost newspaper for top thinkers, Hawking, who is literally a human brain, states "the conditions of Christmas do not predict the need for a Santa Claus"

Already shock and outrage have extended across the internet at this shock revelation, with many pro-Santa groups burning effigies of Hawking, who has been offered 24 hour protection by the pope.

The announcement has been warmly greeted by Stephen Fry, universally considered the arbiter of good taste in Britain. In a twitter message, he told his awestruck admirers "F*ck Father Christmas and his followers. Listen to me. I'm clever."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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