Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Stephen Hawking claims God told him he didn't create the world!
God was too busy at the time fighting off that little Devil, Satan, so he left it to a "Big Bang"

Britains most famous and sad scientist Stephen Hawking has made an immense claim in the Times that God actually spoke to him.

God asked Stephen to tell the world that he had nothing to do with creating the world, at the time he was busy getting a divorce from one of his numerous wives so he didn't have the time.

"He was also busy fighting the Devil" Stephen claimed, "because Satan loved creeping up on God's wives (they're called angels) and raping them from behind, Dirty Devil!"

Stephen actually believes in the big bang version and claims it makes scientific sense and regarding that apple eating twat, Isaac Newton, who actually claimed that God did create the world, Stephen had the following to say:

"Isaac Newton was excellent at counting apples dropping but never did he experience Adam & Eve actually eating them, God confirmed this fact to me and offered all of his worshippers an apology for leading them up the inevitable Garden Path of Eden for all of these years!"

We have just heard that the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem has been turned into an extension of the wall dividing Jews and the Palestinians, it's original use, wailing Jews wailing to God has no purpose anymore!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: God, Stephen Hawking




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
56 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more