Oil-Eating Microbe Attacking Swimmers

Funny story written by Charpa93

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

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Scientists have discovered a new oil-eating microbe in the Gulf of Mexico that seems to be flourishing. It appears to be gobbling up oil in the Gulf at a surprising rate and yet not depleting the water body's oxygen level. They are saying it is nothing short of a miracle. BP is said to be wetting itself over nature's about face in keeping it out of bankruptcy court.

But, not so fast there, buddy. It seems the same microbe that enjoys noshing on crude oil also has a taste for the more refined coconut-flavored variety of oil, i.e. suntan lotion. Scientists use the analogy of a summer salad. You can put together a perfectly lovely salad with summer greens and add a few sweet little grape tomatoes and then dress it with one of two things. You can throw together a quick vinaigrette made from canola oil and apple vinegar, or you can toss that baby with a lovely raspberry balsamic vinaigrette.

The microbe is constantly evolving and every time a swimmer enters the water wearing a sweet-smelling equivalent of that raspberry vinaigrette, the microbes go hog wild. Swimmers in the Gulf have been complaining of terrible rashes after going into the water and it is believe that the microbes are biting just a little too hard on this oily delicacy.

In order to avoid the rash, all a swimmer needs to do is enter the water without putting suntan lotion on. But for those who just can't say no to a Coppertone tan, you may want to bring some cortisone cream with you after that refreshing dip in the ocean.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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