Derek Acorah launches his own search engine

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

image for Derek Acorah launches his own search engine
Stare into the eyes, and press

Phenomenal psychic medium Derek Acorah is to launch his own internet search engine that he promises will rival Google and Bing.

The Acorah search engine promises to do away with the tedious business of entering search terms and digging through page after page of search results. Instead, the clear interface has Derek Acorah's ravishingly good looks, cheeky Scouse smile and piercing eyes staring out of the screen.

It is necessary to register for the search engine, providing your date of birth, eye colour and mother's maiden name, but after that, the search engine does everything else for you.

The instructions are simple, you stare into the eyes, and then press the only button on the screen. There are no endless lists of possible sites, instead it goes straight to the web site that you wanted using Derek Acorah's secret psychic search method. Insiders have revealed tantalising snippets as to how it works, and it is based on your star sign, the phase of the moon and your mother's probable age.

Early indications are promising, with one Acorah fan ecstatic at the ease of use. "It were dead simple," said Ivy Nobrain, "I just pressed the button and it took me to the page I wanted. I'd actually wanted Asda's website, but it took me to Tesco, but that's all right, cos what I wanted turned out to be cheaper at Tesco."

James Randi, psychic debunker also tried the site. "It took me to Google," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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