Written by IainB

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Derek Acorah finishes Mammoth Tour
Salvador Dali's impression of a mammoth

Psychic megastar and all round good egg, Derek Acorah has finished his latest tour to rave reviews, and has returned home to Southport to recuperate.

Although the show was entitled "The Mammoth Tour", Acorah never actually managed to contact a mammoth during his live shows, but audiences were not disappointed.

"It were a great show," said superfan, Mavis Acorah (no relation, so she claims). "I went to every one ofthe five hundred shows. They were brilliant, they were. No two shows were the same, and, and, and everybody went away happy.

On being asked if she thought the almost certainly genuine psychic medium, Acorah, had faked any of his channelling, Mavis was adamant. "Like, in Blackpool he started the show by trying to contact a Pauline in the audience, and there were only twenty of them, so how could he have known there'd be any of those? It's a dead unusual name it is. And when he was in Bournemouth he was looking for a Susan, now how many Susans do you know? Hardly any I'll warrant. He never once used the same name. Well, except for York, when he asked for another Jennifer, like he'd done in Weston-super-mare.

Apparently, Acorah had also been correctly able to guess, sorry, reveal the name of several deceased relatives within two or three goes.

James Randi, Psychic debunker, scoffed at the claims and stated that ninety-eight percent of people have an aunt Susan.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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