It has been reported today that Professor Stephen Hawking's best friend has been arrested for a crime that hasn't been committed yet.
An eye witness said that Draconius was just about to push the button on his time machine that would take him back to the past, when the Police burst in and held him at gun point. They called him a future terrorist, which wasn't strictly true because he wanted to go back to the past to de-invent the internet, as was revealed last week in a stunning exclusive by Katarina Frogpond (that's me).
Professor Hawkings is believed to think its an outrage. He and Professor Black had been working very hard for the whole of the past week to perfect a tiny battery that could help the time machine be more mobile in space time. He is said to believe it is wrong for the police to interfere in such excellent scientific adventures.
The police have not denied that the arrest took place but they say that Professor Black was arrested for a different crime. They say that there never was a time machine. They are aware that Professor Draconius thinks he's got a time machine, but they also say Professor Draconius believes he has a rare breed of tiny genetically modified elephant, the size of a snail, living in his garden.
The real reason professor Draconius was arrested is shrouded in mystery but it is believed to have something to do with a very large green house filled with very interesting plants that Professor Dranconious has been selling for a thousand pounds a kilo.
Professor Draconious says they are dark matter visibility plants that allow scientists to see dark matter in the daylight in order to enable scientists to study it. He says that's why he's sold it to so many students. The Police say its skunk. Professor Hawkings is said to be outraged by the slander and he's encouraging Professor Black to take action against the London Police.
By Katarina Frogpond