Global Swarming has scientists baffled

Written by IainB

Friday, 12 February 2010

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Honey bees of all descriptions have been disappearing from honey farms all over the world for several years now, perplexing scientists and apiary keepers alike.

Now the reason has been discovered and it is quite surprising.

All bees have an internal compass that enables them to communicate direction to each other during their so-called dancing, but since the advent of Global Positioning Satellites these magnets have been throwing off the bees internal navigation systems, resetting them to longitude 0º latitude 0º.

Unfortunately, after flying, sometimes for thousands of miles, to reach this default location, these bees discovered that there was nowhere to land, and no flowers to retrieve nectar from. Currently, there are in excess of twenty million bees floating in the Atlantic Ocean, south of Ghana.

This would never have been discovered if it was not for the fact that a new boat navigation system when not given a valid destination, would automatically navigate to 0º 0º. Most boat owners would quickly realise the mistake and correct it, but a group of bee scientists were less knowledgeable, and by happy coincidence found the world's bees. They have initiated a study as to why this would happen. Meanwhile, steps are being taken to change the frequency of GPS satellites so that the bees no longer pick up the signals and head off to the bee graveyard.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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