Apple Inc. was the target of comments made this past weekend by biblical prophet Moses, back from the dead. A crowd of New Yorkers was startled to see the ancient celebrity holding a press conference on the main concourse of Grand Central Station.
Observers reported that he looked well for a long-dead man, although his hairdo was dated and his beard was in need of a good trim. He wore a red silk Armani robe belted at the waist with a gold sash and leather sandals designed by Cesare Paciotti.
Moses said that he was appalled that Apple Inc. was getting so much publicity about presenting its Tablet, probably called the iSlate, to the world this coming Wednesday. "You'd think they were God or something," the prophet complained.
He reminded his listeners that at the top of Mount Sinai God had given HIM two tablets, inscribed with something really important, the Ten Commandments, probably known as iTen these days. "What will be on Apple's Tablet?" he asked, and then answered his own question. "Probably the 'Twilight' books, episodes of the reality show 'Jersey Shore,' or some other 21st century drivel." He shook his head from side to side and added, "What a waste of a good Tablet."
Moses had some advice for Apple. "Part the Red Sea, then we'll take notice. Until then, take your silly Tablet and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!"
Moses then headed for the train station exit, saying he was on his way to see Lady Gaga perform at Radio City Music Hall. "She's the real reason I came back to earth," he confided.
