Mother's Nose Best

Written by LisaPisa

Monday, 4 January 2010

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Award Winning Mother

My mother has come in first place in the annual 'Nose Awards' ceremony that took place in glitzy Swindon.

Accepting her trophy on the 1st of January, she said that it was the proudest day of her life - so far this year.

She faced stiff competition from others including Hollywood legend Barbara Streisand, Adrien Brody and French fatty Gerard Depardieu.

Mother got the award for what the judges deemed 'excessive nosiness' in the pursuit of gaining random information about the day-to-day life of neighbours, the local cat and estranged family members.

Michael Jackson was given a posthumous award for his odd-looking cock of a nose. The judges said that is was a credit to the deceased paedo that he could manage to breath through the tiny slits in it whilst jerking himself off in a gas chamber.

Leaving the auditorium (Swindon Town Hall) mother said that she would put the trophy in the toilet next to the 'Nagging Old Bitch Award' she collected in 1999 for trying to control her grown-up children's lives and what way they wore their hair.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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