NASA to catch diet cheaters

Funny story written by Mark Merton

Saturday, 7 November 2009

image for NASA to catch diet cheaters
NASA catching the obese

NASA is making its technology available to catch the slimming diet cheaters.

Eight out of ten dieting couples are cheating on their partners by eating secretly and ruining the morale at home because they get fatter however strict would appear their diet. Mrs Prance of Hilltop, Nevada said that she and her husband were dieting for thirteen years without losing any fat and putting on weight constantly. Mrs Prance tried to hire a private detective to spy on her husbands eating activities but was refused by the only detective agency in Hilltop on grounds of customer privacy as they were already working for Mr Prance.

At a private confession service at their local church Mr and Mrs Prance have admitted that they were secretly eating more food than they would normally consume.

Remote sensory capabilities of the satellites orbited by NASA will now be used to convey a warning message to diet cheaters if they register their body mass with NASA. Unusual dilatation of the stomach would trigger the device carried by satellite and a vocal message would be sent to the cell phone of the cheating partner. The phone would announce the message without a need to switch it on or to press the answer button. A loud male voice would say "Stop eating you cheater!" five times.

The Association of Eateries have filed for an injunction to stop this facility.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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