"It's time for all of us to get serious about our health if we want to have any chance of defusing the ticking time bomb of Type 2 diabetes" - Jane-Claire Judson, Diabetes UK Scotland
Since the end of the cold war, experts have found that large amounts of saturated fats are causing generic human faeces to contain excessive amounts of methane. The main fast food chains, sub owned by Chinese investors, have been steadily increasing the atmospheric methane levels in the west over the past 5 yers at an alarming rate.
A Beijing official ministers report leaked to press contained information of the Chinese plan to ensure Beijing 2008 would not be upstaged by London 2012. To ensure their olympic show continues to be known as the best ever, methane levels are due to reach explosive levels as the olympic torch enters into Europe via the middle east.
Chinese military have codenamed the mission Type 2 Diabetes, and have confirmed their plan is perfectly on target.
UK officials were quick to deny the Chinese attack as a threat. New wind turbines, manufactured in China, will be switched on to blow methane halfway around the globe in time for the event. Despite faulty Chinese labour causing delays to the turbines, the MoD has confirmed the workers are back on the job and will have the situation under control by 2011.
