Documentary proves Damian Hirst is a complete and utter very rich wanker!

Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

image for Documentary proves Damian Hirst is a complete and utter very rich wanker!
Who needs real Picasso art when you can buy Damian's crap!

A very cutting documentary has been released about Damian Hirst, his gallerists, the auctioneers, the contemporary art world generally and how the fuck they all manipulate the astronomical prices of their so called works of very crappy, contemporary art.

The nosy, toss of a reporter was sometimes even refused entrance to many auctions of Hirsts superior art (my butt!). But the Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration Army) never failing to miss a piece of arty farty scandal, promptly sent there superstar art-reporter "Vinny Van Cock" behind the scenes to pick up some scandal and info about how these mega-rich morons take the piss out of us all, here his report:

Damian knows his "art" is absolute crap but certainly does know how to shock the public very well, manipulate and force the prices of his crap sky-high.

Golden cows, sharks, Jesus in urine, stubbed out dog-ends, diamond skulls, butterfly bullshit, you name it devilish Damian flogs it. He even has the audacity to let others make his crap works of art for him and then puts his mega-rich signature on the bottom.

Other lower league contemporary artists practise the same thing, produce crap and flog it to deaf, dumb, blind mega-rich morons. Their gallerists and auctioneers also manipulate the prices so keeping the mega-crap artworks priced at astronomical levels. 30 million bucks for a single coloured canvas, not even a real artist like Vincent Van Gogh could achieve that!

Anyway our intrepid reporter "Vinny Van Cock" passed all of the corrupted info over to that tosser reporter (Daily "Scrap" Mail) waiting in his "cool" very gay, pink Bubblecar.

Damian and his morons will obviously continue to earn billions, the ignorant public will continiue to flock to the museums admiring a piece of horses manure plonked in the corner, "Oh golly, how wunderbar Darling, we must have it."

In the mean time superstar CIA reporter, "Vinny Van Cock" has six-legged it off with a real piece of art under his gut, a Picasso, worth peanuts compared to the "oh so fabby" devilish Damian's crap!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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