Scientists have reacted excitedly to research, which indicates that our Solar system is right at the very centre of a giant spinning arse.
The scientists were curious to observe a large black hole showing up on their detectors that exerted a tremendous force equivalent to a very fat man sitting on a whoopee cushion.
"We have always wondered where all the methane gas in the Universe is coming from - until now, that is", said the lead scientist.
The revelation opens up all kinds of possibilities and understanding: are the planets just small round lumps of shit? Are human beings and the creatures of the Earth just bits of nut and corn stuck to the shit?
"If there is a giant cosmic arse then surely there must be someone - or some 'thing' - attached to it. The search for God could be very close".