Written by Morgan Truce

Thursday, 3 June 2004

image for US Air Force Announces New Fighter Design
New USAF "Spitflame"

WASHINGTON (AP) Sources at the Pentagon revealed today that a totally new design is on the table for the next US Air Force supersonic fighter plane. Major General Richard Lemasters said, "The Air Force requires a plane that is fast, easy to fly, manoeuvrable, and great looking. We think our American designers have come up with a new plane that meets those requirements." Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, recently back from a short holiday visit to Iraq, announced that 225 of the new design---which will be known as the Spitflame---will go into production just as soon as a few licensing details with an undisclosed overseas manufacturer are taken care of.

Top executives at Lockheed Martin, manufacturer of the older styled F-117A Nighthawk Stealth Fighter, expressed dismay at the probability that their aging fleet of Nighthawks would be scrapped once the new Spitflame's come into inventory. It is rumored that Lockheed Martin has little chance of getting the contract for the more advanced Spitflame.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Washington, Pentagon

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