According to a ground breaking study that will be published in the Lancet this month a group of amateur scientists have stumbled upon what they claim to be the fruit gene.
This news, if corroborated, will rock the world of fruit and vegetables to the core. The report suggests that there is only one fruit really - The Orange. "All other treetal growths are merely vegetables that learned how to climb" a spokesman said.
The tomato, the most confusing of all the fruit or vegetables, is neither, as Professor C.M.Quat or the Royal Horticultural Society explains, "The tomato is more closely related to a slug than it is to an orange. When looked at under a microscope a tomato appears to have sluggy eyes and a double chin. Bananas are nothing more than elongated tulips, whilst strawberries are a tasty type of sprout."
The IPCC are considering enforcing the consensus for this study with penalties and fines for non believers.
